A TOUCH OF DARKNESS

16

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It's awkward.

It's too fucking awkward.

We were drinking and no conversation was starting between us. I felt envious of everyone who was laughing and drinking with someone they wanted to have around. When our table was as frozen as ice in our drinks. If the music wasn't that loud around us then maybe it would've sounded like a funeral here.

As I expected he was not going to say anything. Not ask how I'm feeling, not if I'm having fun or if I'm enjoying my time while he's with me.

He's dead quiet.

And I tried to have hope that he'd ask anything out the topic of sex, I mean, he didn't ask about that or something out of that anyway. He was drinking and looking at people as much as I was and I couldn't just sit here and do what he does.

I wanted to have fun. I wanted to live.

"Where are you going?" He shrieked to break the music from my ears and hear his voice instead. Tightly my hand was holding back and I wished I was able to cut it off without bothering to ask him to let it go and just walk away without a bother.

"To dance." My cheeks flushed red once I turned to look at him. I was dizzy and that was exactly my mission. I wanted to feel dizzy and out of my head. I wanted to be like anyone but myself.

"Sit back down." His jaw pulled taut and that offended me. It offended me the way he gripped my wrist or the way he was trying to force my ass onto that night chair. It offended me the way he looked at me. It offended me that he was just here without my consent. As if I gave one.

"Alex," I whined. "You're not my dad." I whacked my hand before giving him a dirty look. "You can't keep controlling me." I spat out in anger. A minute ago my cheeks were red, but now my entire face is flushed red with bitterness.

"I fucking own you." He stood up which made me scoff clearly for him to hear. "I don't pay you to slut around for other men than me," he adds. Something was building in me, and no, it was not stupid butterflies and a wonderful twist in my stomach. It felt improper and revolted being held like that to the point I lost my control and had to push him off of me.

"I don't know what you heard when I agreed to your fucking horny dick," I mocked. "But I'm sure I've only agreed to be yours in bed, at sex, and not in fucking reality. I'm sorry to tell you this, but as you said," I paused to process my words. "I'm a slut, and I do deserve to look around for someone else than you."

I might have gotten out of the line, and maybe I didn't mean all of my words, but my drunk head and the alcohol itself could never stand that.

"Now excuse me." I took my steps and sped up my walk just to make sure I'd be lost between people and it'd be hard for him to find me again.

I walked and danced at the same time. I was happy and too high to stand I was in trouble. The world looked glitchy to me, I saw a person as two but that still felt so fucking good to my messed up head. I pumped into people, I danced between people until I felt something hold me back. About a second I thought my hair was holding onto someone's shirt or something. But actually no.

"Hey!" A wide smile lighted my face up, I glanced back down to the hands holding onto my waist.
It was a too-hot guy. Black hair, brown eyes, and soft-looking lips. That was exactly what I was searching for. A guy who doesn't have brown hair and grey eyes, a guy with no tattoos and trustworthy lips. Right the opposite of Alex.
"Are you alone?" He asked and swayed my hips.