forty nine- carter

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I hear Nova call my name over the sound system. 

Everyone around me turns to look at me. 

My blood is pumping at a pressure that I don't think is healthy for a human. 

She looks so pretty standing behind the bar. I can tell she's nervous, but she's still looking at me. 

"Yeah so uhm-" She chuckles nervously and sighs. "I wouldn't normally do this in front of this many people, I wouldn't do it in front of more than one in any normal situation, so sorry if this is incredibly awkward." 

She's so fucking cute. 

Since we got back inside I've just been replaying our argument inside my head. I should have kissed her. 

I should have told her how much I want her. How much I want to be with her and that she mans more than the world to me. 

I didn't though. I just took her stupid cowboy hat and started talking to Stoke about surfing. 

"I used to hate you. By you- I mean Carter not like everyone standing here." I don't think she realises we can all hear her whispering shit, shit, shit under her breath. 

"Go on!" Some girl yells, being totally supportive, which makes Nov smile. 

"And then I moved in with you and had to spend all this time with you, way too much time with you." She giggles and I grin at her. 

All the people in front of me move out of the way. Philip has already opened the ropes and I slowly begin to walk down the path that everyone made for me. 

"I began to realise you aren't some slutty jock with no brain." Ouch. I press my hand to my heart and she cracks a smile at me. 

"I realised Carter's actually sort of funny, he can cook, he's sweet, he cares, he lets me be who I am all the time." I love the way she is and I hope she knows that. 

"This shitty version of you I had in my head wasn't real. Well- no, you did sleep around like a fucking dog or something, I mean if I ask for a show of hands who here has had se- don't do it, I'm joking. Kinda." Everyone in the room bellows and I feel my cheeks go warm. 

Never have I been embarrassed about my sexual escapades, but of course Nova finds a way. 

"My point is, you're great." She sighs. "Then I fucked up and lied to you." 

Everyone in this room is listening to everything Nova is saying. The girl of my dreams is standing up here and telling all these strangers, some friends, how much she cares about me. I'm the luckiest guy in the world and it isn't even a competition. 

"And I regret lying to you so much, I promise to make it up to you every day. Not that you don't fuck up as well- but I'm being nice today, so I'll stop." 

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