⎯ The Divine of Judgment⎯ || BSD x Reader

What Formerly Existed | 019 |

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[ Chapter 19 || What formerly existed ]

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Atsushi walked into the agency, tired as he rubbed his eyes with exhaustion. He was greeted by the others, who were busy with their work, typing on their laptops, and answering phone calls. Atsushi smiled and made his way to his desk, ready to start the day's work. He froze as Kunikida stood in front of him, his arms crossed as he eyed him with contempt. "You're late," said Kunikida, stomping his feet.

Atsushi scratched the back of his head as he quickly apologized. "Sorry, I overslept." Kunikida huffed. "Being punctual is important, Atsushi. You need to be more responsible with your time management." He warned, pushing his glasses up. As he started taking things out of his backpack, Atsushi began to sweat.

Organizing paperwork, Atsushi enquired. "Hey, guys, where is [Y/n]?" He wondered, why she was nowhere in sight. "I thought she had a meeting scheduled with a client today. Did she not show up?" asked Yosano, coming out from the infirmary, a stethoscope dangling from her neck and a concerned expression on her face. She had just finished checking on a Tanizaki who was recovering from her treatment. "I haven't received any updates from her," replied Kunikida, looking worried. "That's weird," Atsushi said, a sense of unease creeping up on him. "Did anyone try calling her?"

"I did, but her phone went straight to voicemail," said Kunikida, with a look of concern. The three colleagues looked at each other, all trying to piece together where [Y/n] could have gone. Kunikida gritted his teeth in irritation; hearing humming coming from Dazai, he stormed off toward him, angrily. He slammed his hands down on his desk, staring at him. "Stop humming! Can you please take this seriously? We need to find her," Kunikida said through clenched teeth. Dazai raised an eyebrow and replied, "I am taking this seriously, but maybe we should consider the possibility that she doesn't want to be found."

"What!" Unfazed, he continued to lounge in his chair, twirling a pen around his finger. "So you'll just leave her to her own devices; how could you not worry?" Kunikida spoke firmly, his voice laced with urgency. Dazai looked up at him with a calm expression and replied, I trust her abilities and judgment; she can handle herself. Besides, we have more pressing matters to attend to." Remembering what [Y/n] had said to him just before he went to the agency, he made an effort not to appear overly tense.

Kunikida stared at him with a mix of surprise and confusion, unsure of how to respond to the unexpected comment. He took a moment to gather his thoughts before finally speaking up. "I hope you're right." He turned, leaving Dazai to his music. Kunikida picked up his notebook, flipping through the pages until he found what he was looking for. He began scribbling furiously, his eyes darting back and forth as if trying to capture every thought before it slipped away.

While Kunikida's raging writing distracted the others, Dazai opened a drawer. Inside the drawer, he found a small picture, flipped it over, and examined it closely. He felt a pang of nostalgia as he remembered the day the photo was taken. Four people were shown in the image, including himself, [Y/n], when they were both younger and two additional unidentified guys.

Their backs were to the bar they were seated at, and they were facing the camera. Dazai's heart skipped a beat as he recognized the location in the picture—it was the same bar that he and his former partner, Oda, used to frequent before Oda's untimely death. He smiled and put the picture back in the drawer, closing it quietly before anyone noticed. 

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[Y/n] reached the top of a hill when she abruptly stopped. She took a deep breath and admired the stunning view from the summit. The sun was setting behind the mountains, painting the sky with warm hues of orange and pink. [Y/n] stood at the foot of a gravestone, holding a small banquet of wildflowers in her hand. It has been years since her friend had passed away from circumstances, but the pain still felt fresh. 

The area around the gravestone was overgrown with weeds and tall grass, making it difficult to see the inscription on the stone. Despite the neglect, the gravestone appeared to be well-preserved and had a sense of solemnity about it. Sakunosuke Oda who passed away at the age of 23, was buried there. "Hey there, Oda." [Y/n] whispered as she kneeled in front of the gravestone. "I brought you some flowers today. I hope you like them." She placed the bouquet on the grave and sat back on her heels. The cemetery was quiet, except for the distant chirping of birds. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to calm the tears that threatened to well up. 

[Y/n] had come to visit his grave to remember their times together, the memories that they shared, and to feel closer to him once again. "I miss you so much," she whispered. "I can't believe it's been this long since you left us. It still feels like yesterday when we were together, laughing and having fun."

As she recounted her memories, [Y/n] couldn't help but smile through her tears. Her partner had been the one person who had always been there for her, through thick and thin. They had shared everything, from their deepest secrets to their wildest dreams. "I remember the time when I visited you and the kids, and they played fight with you," [Y/n] laughed. "I ended up sleeping that night and waking up to the kids cuddling with me. You always had a way of making everyone feel loved and welcomed in your home, and I am grateful for the memories we shared together." 

She wiped away her tears and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. The cemetery was quiet, except for the distant rustle of leaves. She stared at the gravestone, picturing her friend's face and the times they spent together. "Dazai-san, still thinks about you, you know." [Y/n] said, "He wishes you were still here with us."

"He's been getting better. He is still rather unpredictable, but I've gotten better at reading him. Your presence is still significant in his life, and I'm glad about that. I wish you could see how much he has grown since you left. He has found a purpose and is trying to make a difference in the world."

[Y/n] eyed his name carved into the gravestone as she traced the letters of his name with her fingertips. She still couldn't believe he was gone, and yet here he was, forever etched into the stone before her. She held back her tears and took a breath, trying to calm herself. She stared at the gravestone, picturing her friend's face and the times they spent together.

Lost in her thoughts, [Y/n] tried to imagine what her friend's life would be like if he was still here. It was hard to accept that he was gone, but [Y/n] knew that her memories would always keep her alive in her heart. She shifted on the ground, the leaves crunching beneath her as she reached into her pocket to retrieve a back of cigarettes. She carefully placed them in front of the , silently saying goodbye to her dear friend.

As she sat there, a gentle breeze swept past her, and she smiled, knowing he was there with her. [Y/n] knew that visiting her friend's grave would always be a painful reminder of what she had lost, but she knew that it was a way to keep her memory alive. And for that, she was grateful. The memories of her friend would always stay with her; the times they spent together, the laughter, and the tears made their bond stronger even in the afterlife. Memories came back to her like veils, unwrapping layer by layer. The most majestic place has her most cherished moments and her worst moments.