To be Frantastic

---Tell me, friend---

So here we are again, just you and I.

Funny, don't you think? If you can think at all; it is here at this point of my story where we have reached the moment that defined the rest of my life. The choice, the decision. To let the truth be known or to outlive the lie.

Sounds tempting, doesn't it? You who know me so well, you have been following me for the last year... you must know well better than I how scared I was when I saw Ricky lay the flask of pills for everyone to see, and confronted the four of us demanding an explanation. It had all come down to this in the end. I can't lie to you; you know that I still held hope to the idea of getting away with this, of never having to tell any of the guys about my secret. I hoped that I could somehow be cured before I had to lose in my own game.

But I never win in any game I play.

This is what I gain, what I deserve. This is the result of my hopeless charade. As my mind sunk into a sea of blackness, I saw the people I had trusted dancing through my eyes. I saw Sasha, holding bloody paper towels and singing her lullaby. I saw Andrea dancing in the wind under the colorful skies of Hawaii. I saw my dear Troye, covered in rain water, rescuing me from the depths of despair. And I saw Dr. Kellerman, sitting on her office chair, waiting patiently to begin the following session. I had put that one off far too long, and it was time that I came back to her, to let her read me like an open book. The way only she knows how to.

However, I can't say I didn't see this coming. It was just a matter of time before the truth was unveiled. There is no longer a turning back at this point, and I have to ask you to stay with me once again. Now, more than ever. Because I swear for love, we're so close. And it only gets harder from here. And there is no way I could do this without you. But you always knew that.

To let the truth be known, or to outlive the lie...

Tell me, friend...

What will you have?