To be Frantastic

Chapter 21: Maybe

It was like having a pair of eyes on me all the time, wherever I went.

Being limited to such a little space most of the day was a big deal after all. I really didn't think I would mind at first, I mean I have never been one for complaining about room, of all things. But this time it was different and I couldn't help it... I felt bothered.

Ever since my episode with Ricky I have not felt... "Safe"—if that's what it is. I honestly don't know anymore.

All I know is that I can't sit still on the bus and enjoy my free time with the guys, because the air in itself is heavy and hardly lets me breathe. I feel like everything is about to explode.

Ricky wants to know what's going on with me, he keeps staring at me and sending me looks. It's not even fun anymore, the last thing I need is for him to be against me like this. He either thinks I have something going on with Andrea or thinks that I have some sort of really bad problem. Not that he's wrong, but he's not supposed to even consider that to be an option. I'm supposed to be the epitome of "fine". The pills are meant to make me the epitome of "fine".

Then there's Kian. He's just absent. It's as if he wasn't even here, and that just hurts, seeing him this way. Andrea has crushed him entirely. What will be of him? Of all of us? Kian has always been the noisiest, the most rushed, the messiest, overall the craziest and least mature out of all O2L, if I do say so myself. But we can't stand ourselves without his craziness. I wonder, if he's like this just from the breakup... how would he get if he knew that Ricky still likes Andrea? Or that he suspects I have something going on with her...?

Things are bad. Things are really bad. How are we going to endure like this for a month, being just day two?

-"Connor...! Hey...! Are you... even... there...!?"

I hadn't noticed that Jc was trying to talk to me. Or more like screaming to get my attention to be honest. I had been listening to some music on my IPhone and I forgot I was wearing my headphones, effectively blocking out his voice. I was lying on my bunk, not really paying attention to anything. Everyone was about their business, and I was ok with that.

-"FINALLY! God! I swear we could be falling down a cliff and you wouldn't even notice! Or care! Seriously Con, don't wear your headphones dude..."

-"Well, you made your point, not wearing them anymore. So what's up?"

Jc was about to word something, but he stopped midway. He raised his finger as trying to make a point, and it was quite a sight since he was wearing his pajamas... and a cap. Typical Jc for ya'll. And I so wish I were kidding.

-"Ok I'm just bored."—Jc said, as he stomped his right foot on the floor to emphasize his statement.

-"Bored?"

-"Yes! There is nothing to do, we still have a long way to get to Dallas, and I have nothing to do!"

Jc jumped on my bunk bed, effectively making the little space I had ridiculously minimal.

-"So I figured I would come here and bother you instead of boring myself to death."—he said, as if it were the most natural reaction to boredom.

I didn't want to seem plain out rude, but I didn't feel like spending time with Jc either. I took a look around me and saw if there was anyone else to take up my place. Kian was sleeping on his bunk, clearly unwilling to do anything. Ricky was nowhere to be seen, he was either in the bathroom or at the front seat with Michael. He seemed to enjoy talking with him a lot, or maybe he just appreciated the alone time. Up front by the passenger seats, Trevor and Sam were listening to music. Sam has been telling Trevor he's "interested" in the music department. I had never known he could play any instruments, or sing, or dance... or anything. But well, the more you know, I guess.