Who I Really Am JJKxBTS

Chapter 10: The Past Chases Me

A/N - Another 7k chapter! Trigger warning for this chapter is panic attack and bullying. Enjoy!

"You didn't have to do that." Jungkook said and looked down as he and Yugyeom were exiting the canteen. Although Jungkook felt pleasantly okay with having someone eat lunch with him, he was still uneasy about the crowd's reaction. He knows just how much attention Yugyeom's surprising action brought. He also knew the consequences it may cause to the other by doing so. He doesn't know what changed Yugeoms mind or why he did what he did, and although it felt good to not be alone for once, he still didn't wish the other to be badly talked about or made fun of. He also didn't want to open so much just yet either.

"Do what? Eat with you?" Yugyeom asked and the other nodded as he looked at their path. Both guys didn't know where they were headed but that wasn't what they were paying attention to.

"Yeah, you didn't have to sit and eat with me. I am fine being alone plus there are other more pleasant people you can talk too or hang with.  Why would you want to tarnish yourself when you are someone new to the campus? I am sure that being associated with the so cal led  biggest asshole, bad, and fuck boy of the school isn't something good to have. Also, if you sat with me out of pity then no need. I am fine with people not giving me any pity." Jungkook a little coldly and confusingly states to the other boy who furrows his eyebrows and then chuckles a little at the others comment.

"Seems like you both didn't fully listen to me when I sat with you and clearly you don't know how I am either." he looks to the side where Jungkook was.

"I know that when we met I seemed very hesitant at first to approach you or to accept the fact that you were my roommate. I also admit that hearing others give bad commentary or opinions about my roommate made me dread meeting you a little too, but then I remembered who I actually am and I also saw you speaking with some people.  I remembered that I don't judge people immediately or fully based on others opinions or views, and that I need to know or have my own insight to acknowledge if their opinion is valid or unvalid. Also, maybe you show a different version of yourself depending on the people. Maybe to the campus you give off an asshole vibe or show it, but it doesn't seem to be that way with a few others.' Yugyeom replies and Jungkook is now looking at the other in confusion.

"Don't give me that face. It's true. This morning I was going to apologize to you and when I saw you in the hall, I was about to approach you but then I saw this group of guys speak to you and they seemed to really like you and didn't mind approaching you. I thought that just like there's some negative views about you, there are good views too. I asked one of them if they were okay and two of them said that although you are very cold, and can be mean, deep down you have a big heart and may just be afraid to show it. They say that deep down you aren't such a bad person. That most of the rumors made about you could possibly be false." Jungkook looks up and widens his eyes when he hears that. He already knows who those two people already are. Or, at least has some idea.

"Although I didn't need people telling me how to judge you, I thought that there's many sides. I'm not doing this out of pity either. I just want us to be cool and not awkward. I want us to be civil or at least acquaintances. We are roommates and I prefer if we get along then having to be painfully awkward with each other. Now, I know that was my fault. So I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making it seem as if I had made my mind up about you or made it seem like I was like the rest. Those weren't my intentions I was just being cautious and stupid. I want to start new. Also, you don't have to worry about how people see me because I don't care. They can say and talk all they want but at the end of the day it's my life, not theirs." The other finishes and Jungkook keeps walking by the other feeling speechless.

He truly didn't know what to say or how to take it in. He didn't know how to respond to someone who was Able to somewhat hear between those walls he had up. He truly never thought that someone would not listen to what others have to say. Didn't think he would apologize and truly try to know who he was behind those walls. Didn't think someone actually wanted to give him a change by their own will and not by force. He was still terrified of becoming someone's friend but he also knows he can't forever be completely alone.  He knows professor Jang is right when she says that putting up a front with a roommate would become suffocating.