Can't cry.

Pitch the black horse

Actually I never made the visit.
Because the moment I put this journal back, I heard a knock on my door.

'Come in!' I internally groaned. Like, just when I had gathered the guts to do something diplomatic with my past family, someone interrupted.
It is almost like a sign.

'Auclair. I apologise for this sudden intrusion, but do you want to go horse riding?' It was Lovis.

I desperately wanted to go horse riding after yesterday. I went with him and James yesterday to the royal stables and I picked this horse and named him Pitch. Now was the perfect time to try this new sport as I will be going back to the institution in three to four days.

But..there are more important things that need to be done. I knew that I would chicken out if I didn't do it now because....well I was somewhat afraid to confront my parents.
I will have to summon the guts later then.

'Sure.' I smile, following him. 'Where is James?'

'Hm? Oh, James. He is waiting for us at the stables. Father also asked me to invite you to the Royal Founder's Day Ball.' Even though he was talking to me, his gaze was somewhere else.

'Ball?' I would never admit this in real life, but I can sometimes be a hopeless romantic.
My aesthetic is actually Dark Academia and whenever I see those beautiful ball gowns on Pinterest, I just...ah!

'Yes. Every year on Founder's day my father retells the story of how our Kingdom was founded by our ancestors, and that is accompanied by a private dinner and then a public ball-' Lovis explained, '-which will take place three months from now.'

'Oh, that's interesting.' Well this was getting awkward now.
Me and Lovis were suppose to start training together after I found my secret abilities. But due to extreme work pressure on me these last months , I requested if we could keep our training sessions at a hold for some time. I suppose now I do need to start learning how to control these abilities.

'I was thinking about the elemental control training sessions and, if you agree, I believe we should start training as soon as we go back to the academy.' I say after a while.

'Oh yes. I was thinking about that too. I agree, we should immediately start training.' He said, but I could see he was distracted.

'Hey..does James know about the ball?' I somewhat mumble just to see if he's listening.

He was not. He just stared into space, and I noticed we had taken a wrong turn. That's why we were not at the stables yet.

'Lovis!' I half shout at him.

'Hm? Oh, sorry I wasn't listening-'

'Yes, I can clearly see it.' I stop in the middle of the corridor, 'Is something wrong Lovis?'

He looked at me in utter confusion, his emerald eyes gleaming. Like he had never heard anyone ask him this.

'What's wrong?... oh. I do apologise. I just read something that I hope I hadn't.' He sighs, running his hand through his blond hair.

'What did you read?' I ask, curious.
I mean, how bad could it be?

He hesitated.
'I'll tell you later.'

And the whole time I was riding pitch, I was as distracted as Lovis. Though the whole thing was fun, my whole body is aching right now. Guess you can't have everything in life.

Later people.