remember when I knew

JAI PRICE

THE DATE was perfect. She liked the CD. She liked the food. She liked the place.

She liked him.

"Hey, girlfriend," Jai Price called her as they got nearer her house. "Are you sure you want to stay on your own?"

Azalea rolled her eyes at the name he gave her, her lips curving upward. "I'm fine on my own, I'm-"

"Used to it," Jai finished for her. "I know, I know. I still feel like a jerk, leaving you in an empty flat."

"I'll be fine," she promised. "I'll be fine."

They stopped walking in front of her door, and stood there, waiting. Jai stared at her, at her nose, at her eyes, at her hair, at her shirt, and then back at her face. At her lips.

You don't know how to. You're a loser who doesn't know how to kiss.

And yet, he still wanted to. He still needed to press her lips against his own, and wrap his arms around her waist, but then what?

"Jai?" Azalea whispered as they both began to lean in closer to each other.

"Yeah?"

"You don't have to do anything you're not comfortable with," she assured as their foreheads touched. "This can always wait."

He shook his head. "I want to," he promised. "I really, really want to. I just-" She's gonna think you're a loser. You're just pathetic. "I don't know how to."

"That's OK," Azalea smiled softly. "You don't need to know. You'll just instinctively know when it happens." She leaned in closer again, their lips almost touching, and she closed her eyes. "I'm gonna kiss you now, if that's alright."

He nodded, before remembering her eyes were closed, and he quickly said it was, before closing his own, waiting for her to do it.

And then she kissed him, and he felt like he was going to explode.

There was nothing quite like it. He felt whole. If minutes ago, his heart was beating quickly, and he was swimming in doubts and anxiety, he was now just flying.

Flying, that's what it felt like. So scary, but so outstandingly liberating at the same time.

Her hands slid up his arms, and in his hair, and he put one of his on her back, the other on her neck, pressing her closer. He needed her closer, he needed her completely against him.

When they pulled apart for air, he started laughing. He didn't know where it was coming from, but he was just laughing hysterically, and she joined him soon enough, her hand taking his at the same time.

He wasn't alone yet, the voice was still there somewhere in his mind, he knew it- But Azalea was there too. He was not alone, she was with him.

And maybe, someday, he would be alright, he decided, as he hugged her tightly against him.

Right now, however, he was sure he couldn't feel any better. Not better than them together in the dark, hugging to the music of their laughter.

No, this was as perfect as it could get.

********************************************

********************************************

********************************************