remember when I knew

CHEN AZALEA

CHEN AZALEA tugged at her shirt nervously. Great, now she was feeling nervous. Amazing. If someone had warned her having a crush on someone was so exhaustingly annoying, she would've avoided it more seriously.

It had already surprised her when a tomato-coloured Jai had started stuttering during their usual ice-cream meeting. It had taken a few minutes of him trying, and of her going from confused, to amused, to teasing, but he'd finally got it through.

A date. He wanted them to go on a date.

Azalea had never been on a date before. She'd never talked to people for more than ten minutes before Jai. She didn't know what she should expect.

A good thing, probably, was that if anything, Jai was as clueless as she was.

What she did know, was that he wanted to go somewhere outside, and he was taking care of the food. After an apocalyptic Facetime with Chloe, her entire closet looked like it had just vomitted across her room, and she was wearing her favourite New Model Army green hoody, and some cargo pants.

When Jai arrived, she took a deep breath, and opened the door, smiling. Because, although she hated those feelings of anxiety, the excitement she felt was much, much stronger.

"Hey," she grinned.

"Hey," he smiled back, tugging nervously at the hem of his shirt.

She chuckled at the waves of anxiety he was sending her, and pressed her hand on his shoulder. "No biggies, Jai. It's all gonna go just fine, alright?"

He nodded slowly, letting her walk before him. "It's not too far away," he promised.

"I like to walk," she said. "How's Sasha? You know, since I last saw her."

"She's doing great. She has a new obsession with bugs, so mom and I now have to deal with her homemade ecosystems filled with different kind of disgusting six-legged things, but..."

"Wait, she's allowed to stock bugs in her room?"

"Yeah. Mom's not a fan, especially not after one of her jars broke, and we were infested with cockroaches, but they made a deal. She can bring whatever stuff home, but not spiders –which she argued were not bugs–, and she takes care of them herself."

"She's cute, though," Azalea told him. "It's good she found something she likes."

"Yeah, just maybe don't come home until she's over it, she'll definitely want to present you to all of her new roommates. She named them, y'know?"

Azalea laughed. "Awe, but that's adorable shit!"

"You're saying that now, because you don't find Roger the beetle sleeping on your pillow next to you in the morning."

"Roger the beetle? She named her beetle Roger?"

"Hey, it's better than the fish she had a few years back. His name was 'Fish'."

"Fish the fish, I can see where she got it from," Azalea joked, laughing some more. She'd never laughed as much as when she was with Jai, she realised. She liked that.

"Here we are," Jai grinned as he extended his arms to show her the view.

"Shit, this place is pretty," Azalea admired. They were on a cliff, right over some small lake, and there was a red blanket already laying on the grass, with a bag –of their dinner, she assumed. "How'd you find it?"

"It's technically a private property," Jai shrugged. "The lake, that part of the forest, and where we are. It belongs to the family of a guy I met waiting before my meeting with Salvator. He's not really good at small talk –you two should get along. We had pretty awkward conversations at first, and then I just mentioned I was looking for some nice place, and he told me about this."

"Oh, that's nice of him. What did you say his name was?"

"Vincent, or something. He's older than us. Of a year or two, maybe."

"Yeah, it doesn't ring any bell. But I'm hungry, let's see what you've planned," she smiled as she opened the bag, and Jai sat in front of her.

"Yeah, you definitely know me a little too much," Azalea diagnosed when she found gyozas and sushis.

He smiled. "I thought of cooking something myself, but I wasn't feeling like burning the kitchen down, so..."

"This is more than perfect."

It was, Azalea had feared she would end up watching some film, or eating in a crowded restaurant, but this was amazing. Fresh air, sushis, and Jai. It might not be the most romantic, overused date you found in rom-coms, but she didn't want anything else.

"Right," Jai let out, reaching for something else in the bag. "I made you something."

Azalea noticed he looked more tense, and she smiled to reassure him. "What is it?"

He pulled out a small white envelope, and handed it to her. She grabbed it, observing it closely. Nothing else but 'Az' was written on it, and she opened it with a confused expression, her fingers reaching for what was inside.

A CD, she realised. It was a CD with her name on it.

"I decided to go through my old songs, and make a compilation for you. Some I thought you might like, and some that made me think of you," Jai explained, cheeks red.

Azalea smiled so big she feared she might have muscle cramps the day after. "Thank you Jai. I don't- This is the most thoughtful gift you could've got me, really."

He grinned back in a relaxed breath. "Really? You like it?"

"Of course I do, you dingus." She took a small paper out from the envelope, it was a list of songs. "You put the songs we mentioned in our Beatles argument," she smiled again. "And there's Of Monster and Men and Levellers, those I made you listen to to calm you down," she recognised. "And Wear it like a crown, you liked it then?" He nodded. "I thought you would."

"And I put some Kate Bush too," Jai added. "I know you love her."

"You better become her biggest fan if you want us to keep dating," she joked, but they both froze when she was done talking.

"Not that we are dating- I mean we're on a date- I mean, yeah," Azalea tried to catch herself. She didn't want to pressure him into anything, especially if he wasn't ready.

"No," Jai slowly shook his head. "I want to- I think I- I want to be able to call it official."

"Really?" She grinned in surprise. "You don't have to, I can wait. But if you want to..."

"Girlfriend?" He asked simply, toying with his fingers.

"Boyfriend," she responded in a smile. She'd never thought she would even want one. And yet, here she was.

"Yeah."

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