remember when I knew

JAI PRICE

 THE LOUD music of 'It's the end of the world as we know it' was diffusing in Jai Price's room. He closed his sketch book, threw the pencil on the floor and sighed. Then, he lay on the bed, trying to focus on the music. Jai was exhausted. He always was after being around people. His muscles were dead and he didn't feel like moving.

He'd really tried to work a little, but he couldn't even draw. He felt like someone had eaten his brain from the inside.

"I'm home!" His mom screamed, closing the door rather loudly. "How was your day?"

He exhaled and rolled his eyes. What was she expecting him to say? "It was school."

She opened the door to his room and grimaced. "There's nothing to breathe in here. Open a window. It's summer; you can't just hide in your room. Do you have anything planned with the guys?"

"No."

She shot him an annoyed look. "Than plan something. You can go to the park. Watch a movie. Or maybe just hangout here?"

"No," he repeated again, this time more like a whine.

She frowned. "I haven't seen them in years! Bring them over for supper or something."

He threw a pillow at her but she just caught it. She put a hand on her hip, raising an eyebrow. Then, his mother threw the pillow back at him and it landed on his face.

Great, even your mom's better at sports than you are. And she's like thirty years older!

"I said no," he repeated, getting the pillow away.

"Whatever," she gave in. "But I want you to pick up your sister. She's hanging out with Heather."

Jai could have protested, but he knew it wouldn't change anything: the woman was stubborn. She just said a last 'Please.' before leaving him on his bed, and he glared at the ceiling angrily.

Five minutes later, he was in his car driving to Heather's. His eyes focused on the road and he had to fight himself so they would stay open. He was that close to fall asleep right there.

Finally, Heather's house came in the view. It was an old building surrounded by some tall trees. When he arrived in front of the door, he breathed heavily.

1. Knock. Three times, always.

2. Say to whoever is there 'I'm here to pick up Sasha.'

3. Grab Sasha, run away screaming, dig a hole, stay there a couple of years.

How could it possibly go wrong?

Famous last sentence.

He rang the bell and waited for someone to open the door, correcting his stance a few times, until he was half-pleased with it, hoping to not show off rude or something.

Damn it. You didn't knock. Maybe you should've. People tend to find doorbells annoying and they sure are more stressing. They're gonna hate you.

He didn't have the time to worry about that however, because someone opened the door, and he was suddenly right in front of a smiling Heather's father.

"I'm here to pick up Sasha," he just let out, trying to smile back, forcing himself to look at the man in the eyes.

"Of course! Come on in, son. She'll be there in a few seconds."

They waited in silence. Jai observed the painting, the family pictures, the different shoes. He glanced at the adult from times to times, to find him staring at a door.

Say something. Say something. Say something. Something.

Fortunately, Sasha arrived before he had the time to humiliate himself. He knelt to reach her ten years old height and smiled softly, making sure he wasn't too close. "Hey, Sha. Time to go home now. Okay?"

She just looked at him and nodded. He didn't touch her, knowing she hated it. Instead, he got up and made sure she was still following him.

"See you next time," Heather's dad smiled.

Sasha and Jai walked in silence to the car and she sat on her seat in the front of it. "How was it?" Jai asked her.

"We drew. Then, we played hide and seek. It's a game. She hid and I had to find her."

He nodded. "And how was school?"

She frowned. "It was school. How was it for you?"

"School."

Both of them used this answer to say 'it was awful, I felt like dying, I hate people'.

She was the only one to understand a little bit how he felt. The only one who didn't make him anxious. They didn't only have a sibling-love. They needed each other. They were each other's comfort zone.

He glanced at her. Her blonde hair was braided and her eyes, deep brown, looked in front of her. He was always impressed by her eyes. Looking at them was like looking at a deep dark well. It was marvellous, so big and deep, but scary at the same time. Whenever those eyes stared at you, it made you feel like she was looking at your soul. Like you couldn't hide anything from her because she knew everything.

"I almost learned how to smile," Sasha said. She then moved her lips so the borders went up. "Heather told me people do it when they're happy. I do not understand, because our teacher smiled when she said she was fine, but she was not because her son has just died."

Jai softened and he smiled, looking at his sister in pride. "Some people just think it's easier to smile and trick themselves into being happy," Jai explained. "You have a pretty smile already. You're doing an amazing job," he then assured her.

Her lips straightened, regaining their usual pout. "I do not think so. I looked in a mirror and my smile is not the same as Heather's."

"Everyone has a different smile, Sha. Yours is as unique as anyone's."

"But why? We all have the same lips. We should have the same smile."

Jai shrugged. "I don't know, Sha. It's a mystery, I guess."

"I will find the answer," Sasha responded. "All mysteries have answers."

"I know you will."

He looked at a big tree and wondered how old it was. How may people it saw. How much horror it had to hear, to live through, to remember.

"Andy called Heather a bitch," Sasha blurted out as casually as if she was explaining that the sky was blue. "What does it mean? I looked in the dictionary and all it said was 'a female dog, wolf, Fox or otter'. He cannot have meant that, Heather is a human being."

Jai froze. "Uh, well... It's an insult people use for girls. It's a bad word. You should never call someone that."

Sasha nodded thoughtfully. "I thought so. The teachers were really mad at him."

"Was Heather mad too?"

"I do not think she was. She said it was hard for him because his brother has cancer and is going to die. I do not see what it has to do with the fact he was mean with her."

"Some people do weird things when they're sad," Jai explained. "Insulting her probably made him feel like he had something under control. He can't control his brother's cancer so he's trying to prove he still is strong."

"That is dumb. His brother does not care whether Andy is strong or not."

"Maybe not, but Andy cares."

He thought she wouldn't understand, but instead of questioning him more about it, she remained silent. "People are odd," Sasha then said.

"People are odd," Jai agreed.

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A/N: I love Sasha!

What book do you always have with you?

I always carry my Pride And Prejudice with me.