remember when I knew

CHEN AZALEA

CHEN AZALEA had always been a loner. She was the kind of kid to stay in the back of the class, having found the only table that had only one chair, and not say anything. When the bell rings, she's the kind to hurry out before someone could possibly come and talk to her.

'A lonely loner on a lonely road. Alone.' As Roy would put it.

She never really talked to anyone at all, except for kids. She didn't really have any conversations with the woman who birthed her, and if she used to have an agreeable father-daughter relationship, it ended five years ago when her dad died.

What Azalea liked to tell herself, was that she didn't need to go to people. All she needed was to pass her classes and get a job. Then she would find a small apartment, maybe a cat or a dog, and she would live there with music as her only companion.

That is the main reason why she hates when the teacher comes up a random day, and goes: 'I need you to find a partner and do this assignment together.'

Unfortunately for her, that is exactly what her English teacher told them the minute she walked in the class.

Fuck you, life.

Azalea sighed on her chair, glancing around her to see people already forming groups. Groups of three, meaning two humans she would have to talk to. Her first thought was Frigg, since they'd made some small talk a few times. But the bloody girl had already joined her two girlfriends.

Azalea could've teamed up with Jai, or one of his friends. But she had decided to cut any relation with them, not wanting to get too close or too attached. Although it was too late for that, she recalled bitterly.

She was about to get up and actually go and find someone, but sparing her the 'losing your energy standing up', Fiona and Helena –Lucas' ex and her friend– started to walk to her.

"Hi," Fiona grinned politely at her. "Want to work with us?"

Azalea shrugged. She didn't really have a choice. "Sure."

A glance to her left, she could see Aiden, Reece and some guy she didn't know teaming up, the twins and Jai another trio.

Not that she cared.

"So you each have a sheet with questions on different themes of the book we were reading, and-"

This would be a long day.

***

Azalea had been working with the kids for almost a full hour now. Everything was going well, it always went well, and she was finishing her homework as the kids did theirs.

She didn't see it coming at all.

It started with a sound breaking the silence. It was the noise of something falling on the floor, and when she looked up, Azalea saw that Heather had dropped her pen, and was sitting perfectly straight on the floor, looking like she had no intention of picking it up.

"Everything alright?" She asked, standing up to get nearer.

And then, everything became some sort of bloody mess. In a few seconds, immobile and calm Heather was shaking uncontrollably, her face already red, and tears falling in waterfalls on her cheeks.

Azalea hurried to her, but as she crouped down, Sasha started to scream, probably startled by the noise. It was a high pitched scream, the kind to freeze your blood, and it kept going, the child never seeming to lose her breath. She yelled louder and louder, until she was hitting her head on the floor, making Andy cry too.

Azalea got to Sasha, taking hold of her head, but the little girl was surprisingly strong, managing to run away, as her friend rolled on the floor in sobs and shivers.

'Find someone with the shirt. They'll know,' Azalea told herself, recalling that was Amy's advice when she first came here. She ran out the room, looking hastily for people.

There was none, she decided to open the doors randomly, repeating to herself it would be fine. But every second that went, Sasha was hitting her head more and harder, Heather was breathing lesser and lesser, and Andy was having a total crisis. She had to find someone.

Breathe.

Finally, she found a guy in his thirties. He looked up from his papers with confusion, and she inhaled to manage getting some words out. "Help," she uttered. "Help."

Her muscles were tense. She didn't know what else to do.

The man seemed to understand, following her in the room, and Azalea sat against the wall outside of it, not wanting to see, her hands protecting her ears.

Breathe.

***

"It's a perfectly normal reaction," Amy nodded her head with an encouraging smile as she handed a glass of water.

"I know, but I felt silly," Azalea admitted. "It's not like me, to react like that. I guess I was tired, it was a long day..."

"It's alright, don't worry," the red-headed reassured. "Happens to everyone. You still managed to find help, like I told you, and we're all better now."

"I'm sorry," she apologised again, not knowing why.

"Again, there's nothing to be sorry about. You're fine, the kids are fine."

"You're not going to fire me?" She made sure. She had proclaimed that she would never panic, that she would know how to react, and today showed she'd lied.

"Of course not!" Amy exclaimed. "The kids like you, you've worked well. And even under the panic, you thought of the children as a priority, and found someone to take care of the situation."

"Oh. Thank you."

"We have everything under control," Amy assured. "You can go home, get some rest, and tomorrow will be a fresh start."

"Are you sure?" She didn't want to leave them alone with the kids. She should wait, explain everything to the parents. She didn't need to rest.

"Of course. You look tired, I think it wouldn't hurt to take the time to sleep and take care of yourself. You've been working all week like a mad-person. It's important not to work yourself to death."

"Right," Azalea nodded. It had been a long week. Between school, Cherry, Jai, work...

"See you tomorrow then! For a new day."

A new day.

************************************

************************************

************************************