Aspen Juniper Veata has only ever known Beacon Hills to be a quiet and dainty town. Herself, along with her best friends Scott McCall and Stiles Stilinski, had gone unnoticed by their peers in high school for as long as they could remember. Aspen ha...
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Loving you
10.5K words
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"How are you feeling today?"
Ms. Morell's office was tidy. Watered plants sat on her sill, Monday's sun pouring in through the window. The summer heat was kicking in, and the air conditioning was a small relief. Her office gave the illusion that they weren't in a counseling office at Beacon Hills Highschool. It was just a quiet corner where breathing came easy and the conversation wasn't pressed upon anyone.
"Getting shot isn't exactly comfortable, but better," Aspen said softly, eyeing the lilac wind chime outside Ms. Morell's window. She had mentioned she got it from Japan.
"I can't imagine it is," She replied calmly with a small smile. But Aspen can feel her eyes assessing her. "But it's been two weeks. You're back a bit earlier than what your doctors recommended."
Aspen's teeth scraped her bottom lip. "Didn't know you had my doctor on speed dial."
Ms. Morella blinked slowly and tilted her head slightly. "You don't seem too eager to be here, yet here you are. Why now?" She asked, eyes narrowing kindly. The cadence of Ms. Morell's voice was one where identifying her tone was impossible.
Aspen sat up slightly in the chair across from Ms. Morell's desk. Breathing still hurt, but it was bearable. Mama McCall was a blessing and had made sure to keep up with her pills. But Mina had done most of the work, having Aspen sit in the bath while Mina performed her healing methods. There was never much talking.
"I guess I don't um--" Aspen sniffled and threaded her fingers over her stomach. "I don't want anyone worrying anymore. So I kind of just thought if they see me at school, they'll assume everything is okay."
"And is everything okay?" Morell asked, eyes flickering to Aspen's hands over her abdomen. They were twisting and pulling, anything to keep her jitters at bay.
Aspen smiled, not genuinely. Just laughing at the irony. Since when had anything been okay since the end of summer? She wished she could recall a time in a second, but she can't and she hates it.
"I don't think I'll ever be okay knowing I died." Aspen's voice was numb, like using it too much would make her go mute. She wishes she was sometimes so she wouldn't have to struggle and explain her emotions. They were too big, too many happening all at once. She couldn't handle that right now. "Knowing that Matt and I died that night and I'm the only one that came back."
Aspen heard about Matt's passing a few days after her surgery. Late that night, she hated her tender heart for crying for him.
Ms. Morell assessed Aspen for a moment with a steady gaze before jotting something down in her notebook. A moment of silence ticked on before Morell looked back up. "Stiles was in here just before you got here. He described what it felt like to drown the way Matt did. He described it in a way where I assumed he had sympathy for Matt but said he didn't. When I asked him why, his only excuse was, well, you. He wouldn't forgive Matt or let himself feel sympathy because of what he did to you and so many others."
