Chapter 48: Come with Me

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"You're.. being kinda quiet." Josh said softly, nervously peeking up at me. "Are you.. okay? Is everything okay? Was that.." I bit down on my lip, feeling my face get hot, not knowing how to talk about what just happened.

"I'm okay." I managed, avoiding his eyes, wanting nothing more than to just be alone right now. I don't know what it was, I just felt.. overwhelmed, not wanting to upset him, all the while doing my best to hold in the tears I could feel coming to my eyes.

"Are you sure because.. you don't seem okay." He said, reaching out for me, gently running his fingers through my hair. I cuddled closer to him, nuzzling my face into his neck. I felt his hand on my back, his fingers slowly making their way up and down.
"I.. I don't want to do that anymore." I mumbled. He stayed quiet, his hand now frozen in place.
"Oh.. o-okay. We.. we don't have to do anything, Jaime. It's okay." I nodded, my eyes finally welling up with tears.

"Jaime.." He sighed. "What's wrong?" I shook my head, keeping my face hidden as he held me tight, pulling me up against him.
"Is it.. me?" He asked quietly. My heart sunk. It wasn't his fault. Neither of us had done this before. How were we just supposed to know what to do? How was I supposed to know what to expect? 

"I'm sorry.." I finally cried. His face dropped as he pulled me in closer, kissing my forehead.
"Jaime, you have nothing to be sorry for. Just.. tell me what's wrong. Let's just.. talk about this. Please. What's going on?" I wish I knew what was going on, or why I felt like this. I was just feeling everything all at once and wasn't sure how to handle it. This wasn't at all how I expected after to go. I thought we'd be happy and cuddling and wanting nothing more than to do it again and again, but.. I just felt so far from that, like there was something wrong with me.

"Josh, I.. I think that I just.. really want to be alone right now." I whispered.
"A-alone? But.. Jaime I think that we should-" I shook my head.
"I'm sorry, I just.. didn't expect to feel like this."
"Feel like what? Jaime, please talk to me, what's wrong?"
"I just.. I didn't like it." I finally said, unable to look at him.
"W-was it something I did?" I shrugged, knowing it was more like something he didn't do. But.. that wasn't his fault. We were figuring things out together. So even still, why did I feel so.. empty?

"Jaime, if you really want to be alone, then.. I'll leave you alone, it's just.. well, this was my first time too. And.. you kicking me out of your room right after.. well, it.. it hurts. I just wanted to.. be with you after this." I sat back up, wiping my eyes as I turned to face him.
"I'm sorry, you're right."
"Do you really want me to go?" He asked timidly. I shook my head.
"No." I finally said, reaching out for him. "I.. I don't know what I want. I just.. wanted it to feel.. different."
"Different how?"

I wanted it to feel the way it always looked in the movies, but I felt stupid for thinking that, knowing that it was never like the movies, but I guess deep down I just thought that.. maybe things would be different for me. For us. We had waited so long to be with each other so I thought maybe.. for us it would be different. Maybe we deserved that.. but I was wrong.

"H-how do you feel?" I asked, reaching out for him, gently caressing his cheek. He bit down on his lip, his cheeks burning read as he stared back at me, obviously hesitating now considering my reluctance.

"Jaime, I've.. never felt closer to you." He said quietly, now avoiding my eyes. "And I'm sorry that it wasn't what you wanted. I.. I hope that I didn't ruin it for you. I love you, Jaime. And I only want to make you happy. I guess I just.. don't know how to do that yet, but we can learn together right?" I nodded, despite knowing that I didn't have any interest in learning anything new for a very long time. I leaned in, giving him a gentle kiss on the lips, pulling away as I felt him start to kiss me back, not wanting him to try and push it any further. He stared back at me, his face dropping.

"W-was it me? Did I do something wrong?" He asked, his eyes moving back down to my lips. I hesitated before eventually shaking my head. He noticed.
"What was it, Jaime?" I sighed, knowing that it was just best to be honest with each other, or else things would never get better, right?

"It's just.. nothing happened, I didn't.. feel anything." His face dropped again.
"You didn't feel.. anything?"
"I mean, for you I did, I just.. I could tell that you.. well.. I didn't-"
"You didn't." He muttered. "Well.. I want to make sure that you do. What do you.. like?" I felt my face get hot again. How was I even supposed to know?

"I.. I don't know.. I just know that.. it wasn't.. that. Well, it was almost that, just.. maybe a little.. longer?" He leaned in, pulling me into a long kiss.
"Well, why don't we find out?" He crawled back over me, kissing me harder, pressing his body up against me again. I felt my heart start to beat faster, but now unsure of what I wanted to do.

"Josh.." I sighed as his lips moved to my neck. I could feel his hands carefully gliding down my body, one slowly moving between my legs when his phone started to ring. He quickly reached over, silencing it, before pulling me into another serious of deep, passionate kisses. My heart began to pound as his motions became faster, the pressure slowly increasing as his breaths got heavier.

"Do you like this?" He sighed, leaning in closer, his lips just grazing against mine. I reached up, tangling my fingers in his hair, pulling him into a hard kiss, barely managing to nod as it finally started feeling good, so good, the waves of pleasure growing and growing, now only able to express the intensifying need for more in sharp gasps against his now warm, sweaty skin.

And then his phone started ringing again, to which he quickly reached over, hitting it.
"W-who is-" He cut me off, pulling me back into a amorous kiss.
"It doesn't matter." He exhaled. At this point I could barely hear myself think, my heart now pounding in my ears, as it continued building, building, building..

Once again, I was brought back down to Earth by the sound of his ringing phone. I pushed his hand away.
"Just answer it." I sighed.
"Jaime, just ignore it, it's fine, just come here-"
"They keep calling, it's probably important." He hesitated before finally leaning over, picking it up.

"Hello?" He managed, trying his best to hide that he was still catching his breath. He was quiet for a moment, listening. I tried my best to listen in, but couldn't make anything out.
"Tonight? Already?" He asked. "But how.. o-okay.. okay. Yeah, I'll.. I'll head back over. Okay. Alright, bye." I sat up, pulling the covers over me again, knowing that.. we were done here.

"Who was that?"
"The label already has a show booked for us tonight." He said plainly, his face dropping.
"You.. don't seem excited."
"It's just.. happening faster than I anticipated." I crawled over, running my fingers through his hair, pulling him into a gentle kiss.

"You're gonna come and watch, right?" He asked. I nodded, a smile escaping my lips.
"Of course I am, I want to come to all of your shows." He but down on his lip, holding his stare on me as if contemplating what he was about to say next.
"What is it?" I finally asked. He moved one hand to my waist, pulling me into his lap. My heart jumped at the feeling of my body pressed against his again, just wanting him to touch me in the ways he was before.

"They mentioned a tour." He said.
"And.. what about a tour?"
"Well.. that means.. we'd be gone for a while." I nodded now understanding where this was going.
"Mhm.."
"So, what will that mean for us?" He asked, peeking back up at me.
"Well, what do you want it to mean?" He was quiet again.
"I'd want you.. to come with me."

He wanted me to.. go with them? As badly as I didn't want them to leave, I knew how important it was to them, to Jake. They had to do this. It was all part of the job now. And was I really willing to pack up and follow them around wherever they went? What about my mom? What about my dreams?

His face grew more worrisome the longer I left him without an answer. I leaned in, kissing him again.
"Do you have to leave right now?" I asked. He smirked back at me, his cheeks burning red again as he shook his head.

I pulled him back into a series of long passionate kisses, grabbing his hand as he climbed back over me, sliding it down between my legs again.

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