A place in this world - peace series spin off - ellianas story

hospital

**Monday October 10th – 2039**

MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING – ANOREXIA 

-ellies pov- 

My eyes flutter open and I hear voices and beeping machines around me. I groan and let my eyes wander around me taking in my surroundings. They have taken me to a hospital, fuck. "What is going on" I say and feel someone holding my hands. 

my mom is holding my hands but not holding me down she is just holding me for comfort. "Hi sweetie, you're awake" my mom says and kiss my forehead. 

A nurse and a doctor come into the room "hello miss Alwyn. You're in the triage room at the hospital as you collapsed. We need to talk to you but since you're a legal adult you can chose who you want in the room with you" the doctor says, and I bite my lip. Part of me want to be alone so I can lie and get out of her, but I don't want to be alone either. "Could my mom stay" I ask hesitantly, and they say that it's my choice. 

"You collapsed in your apartment and the paramedics was called. Your mother tells us that you have a history of anorexia, and we see that you're severely underweight. We have done some blood tests and waiting for the results of those as well as currently running some fluids through your iv" the doctor says and ask me to tell me in my own words what happened. 

"i've... had some issues with food for years. But I'm fine" I mumble but we all know it's lies. "Let me ask you this then, have you been taking anything that could explain the convulsions? Do you take diet pills or those sorts of products" the doctor asks, and I nod. 

"I take appetite suppressant pills" I confess, and they ask about the dose I'm taking which makes them worried. "that's way over the appropriate dose so I suspect you overdosed on it which is really dangerous. If you continue abusing those types of pills you can have more severe consequences" he tells me and I know that he is right, I just don't want him to be right. 

They ask about my history with my eating disorder, and I make my mom tell them, I just can't seem to get the words out. It makes me sick to my stomach hearing my mom describe it all, I feel disgusting. Rationally I know that I've gone through all of that, but at the same time it doesn't feel like it's my story, it feels surreal. 

"You have a choice to make miss Alwyn. Your weight and state of malnutrition is so severe that you need to be admitted to the hospital for at least the initial stages of re-feeding to look for signs of re-feeding syndrome. But you have the chance to let us admit you voluntary, but I will tell you that if you don't agree to be admitted we have the ability to involuntary admit you due to your severe state" he says, and my eyes widen. There is no way in hell I'm getting involuntary admitted ever again in my life. When that happened all those years ago, I felt so out of control. 

"You don't leave me much of a choice. So I will let you admit me, I'm not staying here involuntary if I can help it" I say. It's bad enough that I'm being admitted, I don't want to deal with having all the control taken from me. At least now I have some say in the treatment. 

**

I'm taken up to a room on the medical ward because I need medical observation and Alex, betty and my dad come and join us there. The results from my blood tests have come back and they are bad, so they are giving me intravenous vitamins and other things to help my body recover. I've also gotten a thiamine shot in my ass to help prevent re-feeding syndrome which is a life-threatening condition. 

My dad gives me a hug and kiss the top of my head "Ellie, you scared us" he says and hold me close "i'm sorry" I sniffle, and he cups my face "we are going to get you help. You're not in this alone. We are all in this with you" he says, and I nod.