A place in this world - peace series spin off - ellianas story

stitches

**friday September 30th – 2039**

TRIGGER WARNING SELF HARM 

-ellies pov- 

I spread my legs so he can lay between them as we make down and explore each other's bodies for the first time in forever. His lips go lower and lower but as he sits back to take in my whole figure his eyes widen, and I panic. "what's wrong?" I say and bite my lip. 

He leans back a bit more and expose the inside of my thighs so he can take a better look... fuck I forgot about that. "Ellie, you haven been hurting yourself again?" he asks and look back up at me with tears in his eyes. 

"no I haven't those are many years old" I lie but he shakes his head. "no they're not. There is blood there, these are new, and they're not properly cleaned" he says gently, and tears are rolling down my face. 

"Please forget you saw them" I panic and close my legs do he can't see anymore. This was a mistake, he should never have seen them, no one can see them. Why was I so stupid and forgot about it. 

"I can't do that baby. But I'm going to go get something to clean it properly so you don't get an infection and we can then talk about it" he says and kiss my head before going out of my room. 

This is bad, I don't want that. I want to hurt; don't he get that I need the pain. If he cleans them and treat me gently, they will heal, and I don't want that. I need to feel the pain between my legs when I walk, it helps me cope. Tears are streaming down my face, and I run into my bathroom locking the door behind me and digging for the blades, I need the relief, my world is crumbling. 

-alexs pov- 

I go to the medicine cabinet and get some gauze, antiseptic and other things I figure we might need to clean the cuts properly. Seeing that she has hurt herself like that again breaks my heart, I knew she did that before we meet, but seeing it infront of my eyes is a big shock. I can't let those feelings cloud my head though, I need to focus on her and making sure she is okay. 

With the things in my hand, I head back to her bedroom, but she isn't there, so I panic and put the things down. "Ellie where are you?" I call for her but then I hear her crying in her bathroom. Knocking on the door gently I ask her if I can come in, but she doesn't answer me, so I try to go in but its locked "Ellie, open the door" I say and start to panic. 

"Elliana please open the door so we can talk. I don't want you in there alone. Are you hurting yourself again baby? Please open the door" I say, and the panic shows in my voice, but she doesn't answer I just hear her crying. 

Clearly, she isn't going to open so I run to Bettys room and go straight in, she is in bed confused to see me "is there a spare key to her bathroom? I think she is hurting herself" I panic, and she springs to her feet and head to the key cabinet. "yeah, there Is a master key" she says, and we both run to her bathroom. 

She is still crying in there but thankfully the key works and betty opens the door. The sight before me is horrifying, she has hurt herself again and look up at us with guilt in her eyes. I want to break down or yell but I can't "betty grab the gauze from her bed" I say and go in to Ellie to look at the cuts. 

Thankfully I'm a second year in pre-med so at least I know a little bit about what to do. She comes back with it while Ellie is sobbing her eyes out. 

"Ellie I'm going to take a look at your thigh" I say and grab a towel to put under her head while I gently lay her down. Betty comes around me and hold her hands. She is hysterically crying btu I know we need to just check how bad it is. 

"i'm sorry. I need to hurt please" she sobs "it's okay Ellie. You have nothing to be sorry about, we are going to fix this" I tell her and spread her legs gently so I can look at the cut. There is a lot of blood but with a washcloth with water I get most of the blood off so I can see how deep and big it is.