𝐔𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃

87 | clarity part ii

Nox talks to me about her brother. I enjoy listening to stories about them growing up not only because they're entertaining, but it also paints a picture of her childhood. Axel being only three years younger than us, he was a cheeky smiley little kid and from what I've gathered Nox was the quiet one. He's the one who excels in academics while Nox had a hard time participating in school. Their dad has grand expectations from him since Nox didn't enter college. But in all honesty, I never really cared about her academic background.

There are times when she feels inferior when she's in a larger crowd and I can't fathom why she's feeling that way when she has so many other useful skills. Her miraculous hands for instance are capable of curing every ache; she could even cure cancer if she wanted to. She's also an incredible cook and I bet she'd surpass everyone in culinary school. I just think she's capable of so much more than what she allows herself to do. She could go off to college if she wanted to, but she didn't.

She chose not to.

It was never a matter of being smart enough.

Something was keeping her in Sunleth and I'm starting to think that she's only staying here for Axel. Nox is aware that she's a victim and from what I recall she was fighting tooth and nail to keep Elijah away from them. Getting into the mind of an abused individual is a tricky situation because knowing you're a victim and refusing to admit you're one are both engraved on the sides of the same coin.

Abuse comes in various forms, manipulation, violence, neglect, cruelty, exploitation. There are many factors that serve as roots of abuse such as childhood experiences, economic circumstances, insecurity, and lack of respect. When you come to terms that your life and mental health is being compromised when you consciously make the decision to stay put, you will either choose one of the two options: leave or stay and continue tolerating the pain. In most cases when people choose to turn over a new leaf, they abandon the root of their suffering. When they don't, they choose to stay either because they're being threatened or because they're being coerced into staying. And I know for a fact that Nox never wanted to stay put.

I never found out what happened between Nox and Elijah, but whatever it is, it has caused him to physically harm her and her Axel; especially Axel. I remember Yoongi telling me when I first came into the building, that Nox used to cover up her bruises with makeup when she first got here. Nox on the other hand would always emphasize on the hurt Elijah inflicted on her brother.

The way she talks about him is as if he's a completely different person now. She keeps telling me that what went down with her, and Elijah had affected him a lot over the years, but what I don't understand is how Axel got caught up in their affairs. No matter how many times I tried to bring the subject up, Nox would always find a way to avoid talking about it. My guess is that Nox is only staying here out of guilt because of whatever the hell Elijah did to Axel.

I sprint back to my apartment and put on my jacket before heading downstairs. If Nox doesn't want to open up to me that's fine by me, but if I talk to her brother there's a chance, he will entrust me with the burden weighing on her shoulders. Perhaps that may seem a little invasive, but at this point I'll do anything to gain the slightest bit of information just to understand her.

By the time I reach the bottom of the stairs, Axel is now sitting on the water fountain with his head dipped inside the water. If his sister were out here right now, she'd probably scold him and pull him out by his wet hair.

He doesn't sense my presence right away as his eyes are closed and his ears are underwater. Tiny ripples climb their way to his cheeks, covering his hairline and I notice he has freckles too; they're less intense than Nox' but hers look like tiny little dark pink flowers sprouting on her skin compared to the faded rusty texture on his cheeks. He's breathing in and out, his hands extended on each side of the water, the collar of his shirt is drenched, and he lets out a sigh before opening his eyes.