𝐔𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃

87 | clarity part ii

Jimin

A stinging sensation surges through my left side as I shift positions on my bed. The wound Nox left on me earlier is most certainly deep and the pain is prevalent causing me to grit my teeth in discomfort. I tend to sleep on my back unless Nox is sleeping next to me. Then I roll towards her side and sweep her in my arms with her head nestled in my neck breathing me in.

I cleaned the wound and dressed it by myself as she frantically knocking on my door begging me to let her in, but this time I refused to do so. I didn't have it in myself to run after her. This entire time we were together, everything was perfect; I never pressured her into opening up to me and neither did she even though she has a way of making me talk to her so freely.

I let out a frustrated groan and run a hand through my hair as I think to myself how foolish I am for ignoring all the signals, her cries for help. If I had accepted that she needed help sooner, then this entire outburst would have been prevented and she'd be here with me right now.

My head turns towards my window, and I look outside at the quiet dark neighborhood. Perhaps if I had seen that her mental health has been deteriorating, we would have had this fight sooner. She wouldn't have started drinking and she would be happy, and we would be in each other's beds instead of running away from each other.

I want her to talk to me. I need her to talk to me, but I know from experience that if she doesn't willingly share whatever it is that is causing her so much anguish then I sure as hell won't be able to persuade her into doing so. It's driving me crazy, because she's capable of cracking me open and digging into the deepest most demented spaces in my mind, while I'm having trouble grazing the surface. Nox is a very forward person, and her honesty is something I treasure, but that's the very thing that keeps these walls up. She isn't the type to lie which is why she will resort in either completely avoiding the subject entirely or evading it discretely.

And sometimes she might have an outbreak.

I get off the bed and head into the bathroom to check on the scar. As I take off my shirt, a sharp pain shoots through my shoulder blade so I swallow it down and toss it aside. Then I peel the bandage off a little and look at the swollen sore skin. I try my best to ignore the bad smell as I contemplate on what I should do. It's only been a few hours and the swelling still hasn't gone down, but then again, it's a fairly big cut; about three inches long. There were pieces of glass, stuck on the skin and those were a pain in my ass to get rid of.

After I put the bandage back on, I retrieve my shirt from the sink. As expected, it hurts to raise my left side, so I'm having a little trouble doing this with one hand. I decide to wait to see how it heals during the night and if the cut still smells like shit and if I'm still feeling the burning and swelling tomorrow, I'll go see a doctor. It's late anyway and I don't want to risk bumping into Nox on the way down.

A knock on the door startles me and I struggle to put my shirt back on without risking tearing the scar on my shoulder blade.

"Coming," I murmur, with one arm in one sleeve.

I shuck the other arm in the other sleeve and pace towards the door, but by the time I open it I'm faced with an empty hallway.

I walk outside and go to the window that peers in the front yard and just as I thought, Nox is sitting on one of the beach chairs with Axel. I watch her as she's sitting with her knees to her chest as she listens to him speak. They both seem restless during the conversation they're having, and I think this is the first time I've seen them talking like this without Axel throwing snide remarks her way and Nox getting irritated at his antics.

I'm about to head back into my apartment when I notice Nox suddenly getting off the chair and walking back to their place. Axel is still lying on the beach chair, staring into space as he tiredly runs a hand through his hair. I can't imagine what he thinks of me now. After seeing me and his sister fight in the living room and with the shattered glass scattered all over the place he must be on edge.