HIDDEN (#1, Gods Among Us)

Chapter 12 - Left Behind

As the wind died down, I stood on the torn up ground, looking up until Shannon disappeared from my sight. I'd never envied Thor's ability to fly until now. Even as a bird, I wouldn't have been able to fight those winds to follow her.

Collapsing to my knees, I fisted my hands in my hair as conflicting emotions tore through me.

That I couldn't go after her had me so fucking frustrated. My supposed silver tongue had failed to find the right way to protect her, to convince her. I'd felt her fear and confusion. It's not like I didn't know what it was like to find out you weren't who you thought you were, that your life had been a lie, and to have your sense of identity torn from you. Of anyone, I should have been able to reach her, to spare her some of that pain.

My pulse pounded a guilty refrain over and over with every beat in my head. It was my fault. My damn fault. And now I'd lost her.

My soulmate. The one person in the entire universe I should have been able to reach, to help, to protect. The bitterness of failure coated my tongue.

She was on her own, a fledgling goddess with powers she barely understood, in a world that was not kind to anyone different, to those that didn't fit into a social construct mortals accepted.

Most mortals likely couldn't hurt her physically now, which was only a little reassuring. Given how long her transition had taken and the abilities she'd shown, I was fairly certain she'd crossed into immortality.

At least in theory.

I'd never seen an actual adult transition before.

She should be inherently stronger and faster than before, with an immortal's healing ability. She should be more protected from physical harm. Shouldn't she?

Damn it to Helheim! I yanked on my hair.

It had taken me decades to deal with my anger and pain at Odin and Frigga for lying to me about being adopted. If I hadn't been acting out in childish jealousy and resentment, I never would have set up the situation that resulted in my oldest brother's death. It was a mistake I could never take back and would haunt me for eternity.

Horror grew within me as I realized how much she didn't yet know. There were other dangers, predators of the immortal world that could and would kill her, or worse, keep her alive to torment her for eons. And my enemies. So many enemies after two wars against the elves, skirmishes with the giants, and conflicts with fire demons. Let alone dwarves and other gods I'd pissed off. 

I'd failed to warn her or prepare her at all. She had no idea. None. 

I might lose my soulmate before we ever got a chance to really know each other.

After losing my wife Sigyn, a fully trained Asgardian, to the Unseelie, the dark elves, in the last war to kick the elves out of Midgard, Shannon's vulnerability had me gasping for breath, like a massive auroch sitting on my chest. I can't do that again. Go through that again. Not my soulmate. My one perfect match.

Black spots grew in my vision as my body arched, muscles rigid.

Screaming, I released a burst of telekinesis that shattered everything in a twenty metre radius.

I don't know how long I sat there on my knees, panting, sidhr flaring in black waves around my body, but I looked up when Thor thumped down in the dark nearby. I'd recognize my brother's heavy tread anywhere.

Wiping away the tears I hadn't realized were on my cheeks, I stood and walked to meet him. My limbs still shook, muscles flexing as I fought the need to try to follow her even as I knew I couldn't catch up.

"What's happened, Brother? I came out to investigate an unusual storm that disappeared before I could track it down, and instead, I find you in a circle of devastation. What did the flora and fauna do to deserve your enmity?" Thor called out in his booming voice before he reached me.

"I failed her, Thor," I told him in a subdued tone, raspy after my screams.

"Who?" he asked, as he put his hand on my shoulder. "Your mortal?" He looked around.

"You were right. She's not mortal. She's my soulmate. I awakened goddess genes in her when I gave her Asgardian mead. She's strong, powerful. We hadn't figured out her lineage yet, or even all of her powers, but she's an elemental and can communicate with animals."

"That's great! I'm so happy for you, Loki! I want to meet her. Where is she?"

"That's just it. I fucked up. She was already confused and afraid from the transition. It was intense. Instead of easing her into it, I pushed too hard. She freaked when I tried to tell her she couldn't use her powers to change the mortal world's understanding of science. She's a scientist, a professor, that's who she is. It's everything she's worked towards for her entire life. If that wasn't bad enough, I was stupid. I told her she couldn't tell her friends, her family. I was trying to tell her the dangers, to protect her, but instead, I ripped her entire sense of identity from her." My eyes stung, unable to hold my tears back. "I was such a git, wrapped up in how happy I was at finding her. I wasn't paying enough attention to her feelings until it was too late."

Thor winced. "That does not sound like your usual eloquent self, Brother. Where is she?"

"She was that storm you spoke of, the one that disappeared before you found it. I don't have your ability to fly in winds like that. I couldn't follow her."

"She's already able to fly using storms? When did you unlock her powers?"

"Last night." Self-consciously, I wiped my cheeks, then crossed my arms over my chest.

Thor stared at me.

"I know, Thor. Don't look at me like that."

He continued to stare at me.

"Yes, she's a fucking fledgling with enough power to do serious damage if she was of a mind to!" And a prime target for everyone who hates me. It was a nightmare.

"Loki, we need to find her quickly, before the giants, dark elves, or any one of your numerous enemies finds your soulmate to take advantage of her lack of knowledge and training! They'd cage her to plunder her power resources." Horror crept into his tone. "But damn it, if they find out she's your soulmate, they'll torture her to pay you back."

My heart gave a panicked beat and I locked muscles that didn't want to hold me upright. "I know, Thor! Stop adding to my fears. I already feel guilty. I handled this entirely wrong. Fly, see if you can find where she touched down. I'll try her friends, places familiar to her." By the Norns, please let me find her quickly.

Thor starting swinging Mjolnir. "I'll let you know when I locate her."

After I nodded, he sped up into the sky. Meanwhile, I blew out another couple of breaths to get a hold of my frantic pulse, then teleported back to my flat to get addresses of where she might go, starting with her hotel, conference and friends.