Is it love? or Is it Protective love? (ON HOLD UNDER RECONSTRUCTION)

Chapter 39

~39~

Isabel's POV

I walked in the house slowly and quietly, I didn't want to wake anyone up. When I saw that I was good I climbed up the stairs. Now that I think of it I seem like a really bad mother. I leave my kids with my I don't even know what to call him now. But I leave my kids with I guess I can still say Fiance. But I seem like a horrible mother. I shook my head, I will start taking care of my own kids now.

I walked into the room where Jordan and I slept. I have to keep this hidden where Jordan won't find it, its not like he is actually going to go through my stuff and find the shots. Plus I won't let him anywhere near my stuff. On second thought I know where I can hide it. I went down the hall to the twins room. Jordan doesn't really look through the twin stuff so why does it matter. I found a box that was in the room, yes this is even better. I took the box and put my shots in there. I put it in the back of the twins closet so I know where they are. When I was walking out of the room, I bumped into Jordan.

“What are you doing?”

“I was, uh, checking on them to see if they were ok.” I lied. I know I did, but I didn’t want Jordan to find out.

“Isabel I know you, what were you really doing?”

“That is what I really was doing.”

“Whatever.”

I rolled my eyes. He is starting to be a pain in my ass. Yes he is suppose to be trying to get me to forgive him but he isn't trying hard enough at all. I grabbed my clothes from out the room, I also grabbed a pillow and a blanket . I am not sleeping in a room with him I can't whatsoever. I went into the living room and laid on the couch. Nicole came running up, she jumped on the couch and curled into a ball at my feet. What is one weird dog. I only say that because I never had a dog while growing up. I didn't get to do a lot of things when I was little.


*Flashback*

“Daddy can I get a puppy?”

“What the hell do you want a puppy for?”

“Because I have no one to play with.”

“Well you can get the fuck over it! You aint getting no damn dog so get the hell out of my face!”

“But daddy-”

Daddy grabbed my arm and threw me back in my room. I cried myself to sleep that night.”

*End of Flashback*

Well I had the best childhood! (Note my Sarcasm). Daddy hated me, he didn't want me to have anything. Sometimes I which my mom never left, none of this who had ever happened. No I am not blaming my mother for this I just wish she stayed. Daddy wouldn't have started beating me, I wouldn't have got raped, I wouldn't have got pregnant at such a young age. A lot of things wouldn't have happened if mommy didn't leave me with daddy. I started crying about everything. I finally cried myself to sleep.


************

I woke up to knocking on the front door. I woke up and opened the door. When I opened the door and saw my oh darling father.

“Hey Isabel, I need to talk to you.”

“We have nothing to talk about.”

“We have to talk about my kids”

“Your kids? The only thing you should be doing with MY kids is leaving them alone.”

“Please Isabel. Just please talk to me, I’ve changed. I’m not the old person I used to be. I thought about what I did while I was in jail. Isabel please give me a chance.”

“Fine.”

“Let’s go for a walk.”

“Fine hold on.”

I closed the door. This can't be happening. My father is back, he says he changed and now I am going to talk to to with him. I just can't believe this. I walked upstairs and got my shoes, and my jacket. I walked back down stairs quietly and went out the door.

“So where are we going to go?” I asked him. Please don't say home, please don't say home, please don't say home.

“Maybe we can go to a little cafe or something.”

“Ok.” Yes, i’m so glad he didn't say home. Well it is better he did say a cafe that way if he hits me in front of people they can just call the police. We walked silently to a cafe that is opened 24 hours. When we got there, no one was there. We went and sat at a table.

“Ok Isabel first off I want to say sorry for everything I did. I am sorry for beating you, yelling at you, cursing at you, throwing you into walls, I'm sorry for even raping you, even though that was really good. You were way better then your mother.

“Oh my god, are you kidding me?! So you sat me here so I can hear how you enjoy raping me?!”

“No no no no, I sat you down to apologize. That part just slipped out.”

“It is still gross.”

“Now about my kids-”

“No you have no right to call them your kids. They are my kids, you are nothing but a sperm donor.”

“I would have slapped you. You know that right.”

“But you have changed, right?”

“Yes.”

“Whatever I still don't believe you changed.”

“And why don't you believe me?”

“Because if you changed, you would have never came back.”

“I only came back to tell you how I felt and to tell you I want you and your mother back.”

“Oh my god really? So you telling me that you came back to just get me and my mother back?”

“Yeah.”

“Why would we want to come back?”

“What do you mean “we”?”

“Me and my mother. We would not want to come back to a person who abuses people.”

“Wait, are you telling me you know where she is?”

“Mabey.”

“Where?” I paused at that question and thought about what i just did.

“Where is your mother?”

“You don't need to know that, plus mom would not want you to know that.”

“I don't give a shit. I want to know.”

“Ok I know where she is.”

“Where?”

“Up your ass thats where. I have a question for you. Is it love? Or Is It Protective Love?”

“I don't know how to answer that.”

“I bet you do.”

“Fine I love you more then my daughter. When I looked at you I saw your mother, I loved your mother a lot. Then again I wanted to show you that all relationships are not fairy tales. Some relationships are just like that.”

“Whatever. I am done having this conversation with you. Goodbye.”

I got up and left. I shook my head. I went home and gave myself a shot to make me feel good. This shot feels so good. I went back on the couch and fell asleep.