My Love In Another World [COMPLETED✓]

Chapter 73.

Chapter 73.

There is just one thing about sadness and fear that made them very similar to each other.

'Loneliness,'

Sadness and fear could make you feel lonely despite not being one.

Both of them stole your capability to think properly and make you unmindful of things.

'How scary,'

However, sadness is something you feel when you were suddenly feeling guilty of something, or when worthlessness hits you.

'Did I do something wrong?'

I know I did nothing wrong, I have never wrong anybody around me. Even if I'm not nice all the time, atleast I'm not spiteful.

Never had I hurt somebody else before.

'But how about to myself?'

Did I do something wrong to myself?

I guess I am guilty of that.

A lot of times, when I'm alone, instead of making myself better, I choose to just let that loneliness seep into my bones.

Loneliness won't kill me.

But I know myself better ,

'I was never lonely, I was just being ignorant.'

It was not loneliness that is killing me inside, it is my ignorance of others presence around me that will kill me.

But then again, if I started acknowledging that I am not lonely, that I am simply being ignorant, guiltiness will filled me.

'Do I deserve such company? Do I deserve Hazel and Tam accompaniment? Do I deserve not to be lonely?'

My worthiness of things will start to haunt me again and crumble the feelings I had for myself, and the cycle begins.

I felt lonely, know my ignorance, acknowledge my friends company, doubt my worthiness and then feel lonely once again.'

It's so tiring.

But it's natural for a human to feel such complicated entanglement of emotions. Since humans are humans.

'And I am a human.'

Is it just because I fear to become an inhuman?

Why would I? 

I never even question myself if I was really a human, it is already enough of me that I feel emotions and the consequences of the emotion to be branded as a human.

'So what do I fear about?'

Asher…

My man, my beloved in another world.

When I'm with him, everything about me seems to be put in ease.

Every emotions inside me calm down, all my uncertainty disappears, and doubt become complacent. It's not like his existence beside me erase all my worries, he just calms the storm inside me.

'I miss him,'

Am I going to see him again? After what happened earlier,

'The first time we met is bliss, as if both of our worlds stops and celebrated our first meeting. The second time we met, Tam was transported in his world, inside his mirrored world. While the third got accompanied by misfortune and a place near us exploded.'

I'm scared that if I met with him again, something even more terrible will happened…

I sniffled under my bedsheet and wipe my tears with the sleeves of my pajama.