𝐔𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃

84 | when history repeats itself

Nox

Present

My hands are moving on their own accord, my grip choking the bowl of the wine glass so tightly it might break any second now. My fists are trembling, my entire body shaking as if I'm experiencing an earthquake. My teeth are grinding like tectonic plates under the earth' surface; all the anger and rage I've been holding hostage in my body finally breaks free and like lava it overflows, slowly burning, melting, and killing everything it grazes.

All I can hear is the sound of my blood pulsing in my veins, my shallow breathing. Silence has fallen inside my headspace, and somehow it feels like it's reverberating in the walls of my brain. In this moment, nothing else matters other than breaking the deafening quiet in my mind. I've kept quiet for way too long and I hate when my boundaries are being pushed and for some goddamn reason Jimin insists on breaking down those walls even when he sees that all his efforts will go in vain when they ricochet.

"I should have walked away from you a long fucking time ago!" In one swift movement, the glass flies away from my now relaxed grip until it crashes on the wall behind him. The ear-splitting sound of glass shattering causes the hairs on my arms to raise and when Axel's bedroom door opens, both of us turn to look him.

It's not until I see the blood staining the back of his white hoodie that my temper starts to fade away.

"What the hell is going on here?" He asks concerned, his eyes falling straight on Jimin as he grabs his jacket from the sofa.

"It's nothing. I was just leaving." Jimin replies coldly. The way he looks at me sends chills down my spine.

"Jimin, you're bleeding." I say my voice shaky, reality hitting me hard. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Let me fix this." I reach out for his arm, softly grabbing his sleeve.

"It doesn't hurt." Jimin says lowly shaking my hand away. This time his voice is softer, coated in disappointment and regret. He places a hand on his shoulder blade and turns away from me.

My heart starts to pick up as he makes his way to the front door, and I find myself running after him. He doesn't say anything as I follow him up four flights of stairs until we reach his apartment door.

I was expecting him to yell at me more, or push me away from him, but he doesn't do either of those things. His silence makes me wish that he could at least do one of the two. Push me, scream at me; something. Anything that will keep him talking to me.

Anything but quiet.

I know I fucked up, but he pushed me too far. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I didn't mean to say any of the hurtful things I impulsively uttered.

I didn't mean to hurt him.

He fiddles with the keys in his pocket and unlocks the door.

"I'm so sorry." I say with tears welling in my eyes. "I love you Jimin."

He shuts the door in my face when he enters his apartment, leaving me out in the cold empty hallway. I don't even bother to knock on the door, because I know that no matter how much I plead and beg for him to open it, it will remain closed and yet I find myself still standing here waiting for him. I can't get his soulless eyes out of my mind, the way they were scrutinizing me back at my apartment right after I threw that glass on the wall.

My knees give up on me after a few minutes. Maybe it's been an hour, who knows. Judging from how dry my throat is right now, I'll take a wild guess and say that I've been standing right outside his door frozen for quite a while. I press my forehead against his door and just cry, waiting for him to let me in. My hand is climbing up the wooden surface while sobs and sniffles echo in the hallway. I bring my palm up to my mouth then close my eyes and weep in complete and utter silence.