Sinful Desires (GirlxGirl)

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~ Happy pride month, you gay hoes! Juneteenth was also yesterday, shout out to my beautiful black queens and kings :)

She was having second thoughts.

With the previous burst of confidence she had earlier, Anna was able to leave her room, quietly making her way outside to meet Serena. However, as the distance between the pair was slowly beginning to shorten, her nerves couldn't help but kindle with anxiety.

What if she looked like a complete fool?

Rejection was only minor compared to complete ridicule... She couldn't imagine Serena laughing at her but yet again, anything was possible.

For a woman who has been praised for her beauty and talents, Anna was still haunted with constant insecurities. She was capable of masking her lack of perseverance with confidence and sarcastic remarks but underneath it all, she was nothing but a coward.

It were the reason she has been obedient to her mother for so many years. Even after becoming an adult, she couldn't help but overthink the consequences of standing up to the only person she could really count on besides her father. All she's known is what her mother has told her and even though she befriended those kind, servant girls who introduced her to a lot within adulthood, it was really Serena who fully opened her eyes.

Serena was like a cold bucket of water, poured over her head, waking her up from this nightmarish life of control and solitude.

On the outside, she appeared to have it all as without a husband holding her down she should have been free but what appears on the outside could be deceiving. Her mother chose her friends, who she spent her time with, her studies and her dresses.

Anna was living in this denial that she was actually granted the ability to chose her own suitor but deep down she knew that her mother had control over that as well. If she were to pick a man that was inadequate in her mother's eyes then her true colors would surely come to the surface especially if that were a woman...

Overall, Anna had no control over her life. Sometimes, she didn't even know if her personality was her own or if she was just playing the role her mother had given her.

She had her moments when the real Anna broke free, especially when she told off Francesca or this continuous rebellion of speaking to Ms. Gregory behind her mother's back.

Now, she was granted another opportunity of rebellion but this was much more scandalous. As she slipped out of the mansion using the unlocked door in the kitchen, she quietly walked around the building until she caught a drift of Serena's cologne.

There she stood, leaning against the wall of the mansion, cane in her gloved hand whilst staring up at the twilight sky, with its mixture of pink, purple and blue hues, as sunrise eased closer.

Anna's anxiety caused her to tremble but she blamed the coldness of the early morning dew instead. Each step she took closer towards Serena, her cowardly thoughts continued to run rampant hoping to pressure her into turning back around.

However, when Serena's eyes met hers, she knew there was no turning back.

Serena started walking towards the garden when Anna agreed to meeting her. She didn't want them to be spotted below Anna's window as it was practically situated at the entry way of the mansion.

She leaned against the wall, trying to piece together how she was about to tell Anna that this all had been a lie. Her stories weren't lies and her desires towards her weren't at all either but the premise behind her actions hadn't been pure. She wasn't doing this to help Anna or that was probably what she believed. She sympathized with Anna's situation but it were her curiosity and her greed for mind games which had ultimately thrown her into this affair of theirs.