The Chamber of Secrets (Hermione x male reader)

Defence Against the Dark Arts

After herbology we ate lunch and then Defence Against the Dark Arts with Lockhart, I was not looking forward to it at all. 

During lunch Ron had managed to Spellotape his wand back together, every so often I would see a gross combination of colors seep from the break it had sustained when they hit the Whomping Willow. I was terrified of him having to use it, the wand already had problems trusting him before he broke it, now? It would burst with spells randomly, bewitching a painting, or turning Seamus' cup into a feathered box. 

"What've we got this afternoon?" Harry asked. 

"Defence Against the Dark Arts." Hermione and I responded together. 

"Why," demanded Ron, as he grabbed Hermione's schedule, "have you outlined all your classes in little hearts?" Hermione grabbed her schedule and eyed me quickly before she started blushing furiously. 

I was curious, Hermione didn't really like Lockhart, in fact she kind of loathed anything he claimed to do as a wizard. Maybe it was something or someone else she had highlighted the classes for. 

After we finished lunch we went outside and sat on the stone steps, Harry and Ron started talking about quidditch while Hermione and I opened Wanderings with Werewolves and Year with the Yeti respectively. We had made it something of a game, whoever could find the most magical missteps or inaccuracies in the book won. 

"Hey, Harry, I think you've got an admirer." Ron said slyly as he pointed to the little boy who was walking over with a camera in his hand. 

"All right, Harry? I'm-I'm Colin Creevey," he said without taking a breath, he took a shy step forward, "I'm in Gryffindor, too. D'you think-would it be all right if-can I have a picture?" he said, taking a deep breath and raising his camera. 

"A picture?" Harry repeated back surprised. 

"So I can prove I've met you." Colin said eagerly, "I know all about you and You-Know-Who, could you sign it as well?"

"Signed photos? You're giving out signed photos, Potter?" The demure voice of Draco Malfoy rang out in the courtyard. "Everyone line up!" Malfoy yelled to the courtyard. "Harry Potter's giving out signed photos!" 

"No I'm not!" Harry said angrily, his fests clenching, "shut up, Malfoy."

"You're just jealous," Colin interrupted. 

"Jealous?" Malfoy said snidely. "Of what? I don't want a foul scar right across my head, thanks. I don't think getting your head cut open makes you that special."

"Eat slugs, Malfoy," Ron said angrily. At this Crabbe and Goyle stopped laughing and began rubbing their knuckles menacingly. 

"Be careful, Weasley," Malfoy sneered, "you don't want to start any toruble or your mummy'll have to come and take you away from school." He put on his best impression of Mrs. Weasley's howler, "if you put another toe out of line-"

He was cut off by Lockhart. 

"What's all this, what's all this?" Lockhart said, striding up to us. "Who's giving out signed photos?"

"Potter," Malfoy spat. 

"Shouldn't have asked!" Lockhart said cheerfully. "We meet again Harry."

He paused as he looked at me, "Ahhh you too Mr. Alpherian."

Lockhart pinned Harry to his side, humiliation was burning brightly on Harry's face. "Come on then Mr. Creevey!" Lockhart said beaming at the first year, "a double portrait, can't do better than that, and we'll sign it for you!"

After Harry had managed to get away from Lockhart he was flustered, "I really don't like him." I said, referencing Lockhart. 

"Yeah, me neither." Hermione said looking at me. Scratch one person off the list of why Hermione had drawn the hearts on her classes. 

After we walked to the D.A.D.A classroom we saw Lockhart beaming brilliantly at us smiling, I managed to get the seat next to Hermione, after a couple minutes he began. 

"Me," he said, pointing to a portrait of himself and winking, "Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defence League, and five time winner of Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award, but I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her."

"I don't think you got rid of the Banshee at all." I whispered and Hermione covered her mouth, stifling her laugh. 

"Now... I have a quiz, just to see how much you've read and taken in from my books."

He handed out the quizzes and none of them had anything to actually do with Defence Against the Dark Arts, I still did it though, trying to get a laugh from whoever would be grading it. When he collected the papers and looked through them he seemed distraught until two of them caught his eye. 

"Well, seems like none of you have read much, but Miss Hermione Granger and Y/N Alpherian knew my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair care potions, good job! In fact-" he flipped our papers over, "-full marks! Where are these two?"

Harry and Ron pointed us out, I guessed on everything, I guess Lockhart had no other defining characteristics other than his vanity and ego. They were incredible guesses. 

"Excellent!" beamed Lockhart. "Quite excellent! Take ten points for Gryffindor, each of you! And so, to business."

He lifted large covered cage onto his desk, it was shaking wildly and small  sinister laughs echoed from it. 

"Now, be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizard kind! You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room. Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. All I ask is that you remain calm."

"I must ask you not to scream," Lockhart said in a quiet voice, "it might provoke them." With that he pulled the cover off the cage, revealing small blue creatures with menacing grins. 

"Cornish pixies?" Seamus laughed, "they're not very dangerous."

"Don't be so sure Mister Finnigan!" Lockhart said. "Devilishly tricky little blighters they can be! Let's see what you make of them!" He opened the cage and mayhem ensued, Neville had been lifted up by his ears to the chandelier that hung from the ceiling and Hermione and I had been pushed together, somewhere in the mayhem I thought I heard Lockhart say, 'Peskipiksi Pesternomi!' Nothing happened, it was only after Hermione used a freezing charm on the room that we were able to wrangle them up and get them back in the cage, staring daggers at Lockhart as we left I slammed the door and sighed.

"What an idiot." Hermione said. 

"Agreed, that was great though! The freezing charm!" I said putting my arm over her shoulders. 

"Oh... thanks Y/N." She said blushing.