We Fell In Love In October : JakeHoon

Chapter Twenty One: Goodbye, October

Chapter Twenty One

Goodbye October

We are lying on the picnic table in the backyard. His hand on his head as his pillow, and his sides as mine.

We stared at the dark skies with a blanket of stars and the full moon shining above us, lost for the last time together before a long while. We let touches of wind on our skins be our comfort, and the sound of nature and crickets sing for us.

No one broke the silence, and we continued staring at the peaceful night sky with nothing else aside from our thoughts inside our heads, perhaps. As for me, it is sinking in... tomorrow, October will pass, and there is no way we could stay on this time.

"A while ago at the cinema, What were you thinking when you cried?" I trailed and finally asked him what I'd been curious about.

I found it funny how I was brave enough to break the silence with that question; on the other side, I knew it was too late to regret asking, so I decided to share mine.

"I was thinking about whether are we going to be like them," I said, too honest. "Not one of us dying but having to feel one's likeness without one's presence," I told naked truths.

I smiled bitterly when he didn't answer. I was hoping he would. I was ready to drop the subject when he said, "I was thinking the same thing." he replied. I stared at him, and his eyes told me he was telling the truth.

I smiled bittersweet, "I wished we could meet halfway." I whispered softly.

"Everything is uncertain, but I hope we won't stop halfway. I don't want us to stop being part of each other's memories, nor stop at feeling the likeness of the past left us." I told him.

"I didn't want us to be the wind," I added and smiled. I want to see him again after this. I want to touch and be able to hug him again. I want to feel his warmth just like now and everything we have now.

We agreed to try and make it October every day; we said we will till the time tells us to stop, but that doesn't assure anything.

At the end of the day, only time could tell.

"I don't want us to be the wind as well..." He replied... I thought he'll gonna stop there but after a long pause... "Jamie and Landon, they were each other's miracle." He replied... "I didn't know what I am to you, but you were mine." He replied.

I bit my lips when my eyes started to water, he became blurry as my vision became crowded with tears, but I could tell he was no different.

"I couldn't tell you everything right now, but you don't know how this October and you saved me. Who gave me new hope. That maybe I could do something aside from what I have been my whole life, I was about to lose." He continued.

I couldn't follow. Everything in his words, I couldn't get anything, but how he sounded was enough to tell me he's having it so hard and worse in all ways possible, for too long.

"I was never religious, but I started to think like Jamie. Maybe everything is God's plan. He was taking back something from me to meet you. Perhaps I was just trying to find something beautiful in the disaster he gave me. He chose to give me out of billions of people in this universe." tears threaded his cheeks, and that broke me.

"I couldn't tell you, everything right now. But I just wanted you to know, I was having all hard till I met you. It was all dark, but then you suddenly lit up a spark of whole new hope in me. I momentarily forgot what possible catastrophe might come after me. I couldn't even regret asking you to try with me knowing it was selfish... when the time comes, I fail you... I will gladly accept if you won't forgive me." He added.