The Switch

Sarah- All that I Recall

I was taken back, to the distant past, only the first few weeks of kindergarten grade that I remembered as faint memories in the fog. It seemed as if they weren’t mine. As if those memories belonged to someone else…as if they belonged to someone else who didn’t exist…as if they belonged to nobody.

I was talking to a man without a face.

Or did he have a face and I just couldn’t recall? Either way, the sun shone in my eyes, so I couldn’t see his face, but I recall wanting to see it.

He had crouched down to my level, to be able to talk to me, because I was kneeling and I was crying. Crying like a baby who had lost her doll.

I guess I’ve always cried a lot.

The voices were faint, hardly decipherable.

“Why…why do we— have to go away?” I asked, sobbing

“Sarah is too small to understand these things” the man said softly “but it is for her own benefit”

“I want— to stay here” I sobbed “Wi—with Mother”

So I really did have a mother. Of course. It wouldn’t make sense if I didn’t…

“Dear, you need to remember, that you will forget us after this. You will lead a new life. We will be nobodies to you.”

“That’s impossible!” I protested.

“Sarah…We’ll make it possible. Trust me; it will be as if we never existed. Sarah will be happy.”

 “Don’t do this...” I wailed

 He stood up.

“Will—Will I see you again?” I asked, looking up, but my line of vision only went up till his tie.

He looked down and gave me his hand to hold and stand up.

“No” he smiled sadly “Never”

I uttered his name “F—” but I wasn’t able to hear it over my trembling tears. He was someone really important to me and his name began with an ‘F’

I hugged his leg, reaching only till his knees. I was so tiny. He bent low and carried me up, where I put my hands around his neck and hugged him tightly, never intending to let go. But what you intend isn’t always what you end up doing, is it?

I remember not knowing the two people standing in front of me, crying. I couldn’t see their faces either.

I remember, going away with someone else, to someplace else. I remember my adopted dad.

I remember opening my eyes.

“You’re awake” Luke sighed. His collar was drenched in blood. Kenny was driving as fast as he could

“We have to get away!” Kenny stated “Sarah, pass me that plastic bag, would you?”

I handed it to him. Something trickled down from my forehead. It was blood. Everyone was injured. I looked out the back of the car. They were still chasing us. Kenny flung the plastic bag and whatever was in it, hit the windshield of the other car and broke it, injuring the driver’s hand. That car skidded to a halt.

“Why are they after you?” I demanded from Luke “There’s something you aren’t telling me! Something more to what Dina told me about him” I was referring to Kenny. He seemed to get hurt at that.

“Sarah—” he began

“Don’t talk to me, Ken! I can’t believe you hid something like that from me!” I added fiercely