The Great Pretender

Chapter 9: Or Else What?

Kamila

Punch! Punch!

I hissed nang magpakawala ako nang dalawang suntok sa matigas na punching bag. It is five in the afternoon and yet I am here, in the home gym, beating up the punching bag in front of me with my own bare knuckles. My blood is pumping in my veins and I am covered in sweat.

I gritted my teeth as I punched the bag harder. Hindi ko dinadaing ang sakit sa aking mga kamao. Bagkus ay gusto ko iyon. Pain keeps my eyes open and it keeps me occupied. I can't stay still because I will just space out and think of things that I am not supposed to be thinking about.

Fúck. Men.

That was my motto ever since the day I can remember. I eat men for lunch, that means  I either destroy their pathetic little businesses, steal from them, and do other things.

Punch! Punch! Punch!

I am not necessarily a misandrist. It's just that most of the rich who are bad happened to be men. Another reason why the word and species called men leave a bad taste in my mouth is because growing up, I didn't really have male role models.

Habang lumalaki ako ay lahat ng nakikita kong mga lalaki sa paligid ko ay mga gahaman at masasama. Kaya naman mabibilang lang sa aking mga daliri ang mga lalaking pinagkakatiwalaan ko ngayon. In my criminal empire, of course, I have males around me, but I take the lead.

I wear the pants and I call all the shots. Fúck the king. I am the boss-woman and the Queen, bítch. Püssy power all the way. I don't let no man tell me what to do unless I really have to listen.

For the most part, I don't rely on men to think for me. They rely on me to think for them.

Despite me being the boss bîtch and a borderline misandrist, I still get attracted to men, okay? I actually hate that fact. Sometimes I do wonder, why can't I just be gay and be attracted to women, instead?

Because what is not to like about women? They are just chef's kiss, fücking amazing. End of discussion, and I will shoot anyone who says otherwise.

But unfortunately and sadly, I am only attracted to the XY's. However, I may be attracted but I do not sleep with them.  I only either steal from, double-cross, or command them. When I feel the urges, I pleasure myself  with my fingers or with other tools, and I am not fúcking ashamed of that.

Humihingal akong napatigil at napaupo sa sahig. I can feel my heart loudly pounding in my ears and my knuckles burning in pain. Pawisan akong napahiga sa sahig at napatitig sa ilaw sa kisame. I can feel some of my loose hair sticking on my neck.

I am no submissive. I hate the mere idea of submitting to anyone, especially men.

I have not and do not ever kneel or bend for no man. Ever.

They do it for me.

But why did I just catch myself fantisizing about submitting to big boy...earlier?

Every sexual innuendo and jokes that I have ever told him were just teasings and jokes....but why does the idea of submitting to him and letting him use me like his fúck toy—

"Fúck. Me." Napamura ako nang maramdaman ko ang pagkalat ng init sa aking katawan at ang pagtigas ng tuktok ng aking mga dibdib sa isiping iyon.

I must be going crazy.