Memories of Tomorrow

18 - Oliver Taylor

I just stared at her from my car. I know she doesn't want to see me, so I haven't visited Tracy's in the last two weeks. Elian seems to be really friendly towards her. I see it now. He didn't touch her at all. They were just talking amicably. No flirtatious looks whatsoever. I can tell they were talking about something serious. Their smiles and laughter are limited. Then I saw her stand up. She didn't even give him a hug, or a kiss on the cheek. She just waved good bye.

It's Saturday. I should be taking her out on a date, but since I messed up... I sighed.

I remember my conversations with Andi, Elian and Michael. They all accepted my apology readily, but they all agreed I was a jerk for meddling with Lee's life. I don't get to choose who her friends will be, that's what they all said in common. Even if I'm jealous, Lee shouldn't be prohibited from having male friends. And now I can tell that they're all good friends. They made sure to console me though, that they see Lee as nothing more than a friend.

I gave Elian a job, a replacement of the one he lost because of me. I offered Andi a partnership in one of our departments to help his business take off, and Michael wants nothing but to hang out for free beers once in a while.

The following day I found myself walking inside Tracy's. I missed coming here just to see her. Frankly, I'm not yet prepared to face her. I remember that moment she said she hates me. I sighed. I understand I'm the one who pushed her and right now I want nothing but her forgiveness.

I stopped when I neared my usual booth. Lee, Elian and another girl was sitting there. I can almost read Lee's expression when she saw me. She's biting her lip. She's probably saying in her head, "Shit, I didn't realize this idiot will show up today." She turned her head to look for a vacant booth. Unfortunately, it was a Sunday and it was understandably packed with people who had time to hangout with family and friends.

"Hi." I greeted her tentatively. Elian and the girl probably know nothing about my exclusive booth.

"Can I join you?" I figured she wouldn't say no. She glanced at Elian and the girl.

"This is Cindy, my girlfriend." Elian introduced. I raised an eyebrow at him. I didn't realize he has a girlfriend.

"Cindy, this is Oliver, my boss. And he's dating Lee." The man actually winked at me, then winced. From my peripheral view, I can tell Lee kicked him under the table.

"Nice to meet you, Oliver." She extended a hand for a shake. I complied, nodding in her direction. Lee visibly sighed.

"I'm sorry we used your booth." Lee stated.

"It's alright. Can I join you?" I asked again. She didn't answer earlier.

"Of course. It's technically yours." She responded. Scooting over the bench and making room for me.
The other two have their eyes furrowed. "I'm not understanding something here." Elain asked.

"He paid Tracy for his exclusive use of this booth." She took out the "reserve" label from under the table and laid it in front of us. I cleared my throat, taking the label and putting it back under the table. I was suddenly nervous. I turned to look at Lee. I clenched my fists, not daring to reach out for her hands. What I did would probably go under the label of harassment. I don't want her to be afraid of me. I exhaled a breath.

"I'm really, really sorry for what I did." I started. I appreciate that she didn't avert her gaze to somewhere else. I did notice her right hand caressing her left arm, though, like she's also trying to calm herself. I grimaced.

"I will never do anything to hurt you. Intentionally, anyway. I know I already hurt you. And I apologize for that. I promise I will never do that again. I won't interfere with who your friends are. I promise." It's all I can do now, apologize in person. The last two weeks of not seeing her has been hell.

She closed her eyes and put her head on her left hand. "I'm suddenly dizzy." She exhaled. Before I could stop myself, I already reached out to touch her shoulder. I'm glad she didn't shirk away from my touch.

"Are you pregnant?" Cindy asked in a whisper. We all turned to look at her.

"I was usually dizzy during my first month." She explained when she noticed our gazes on her. She leaned back on her seat. Elian coughed. Lee followed.

"I'm sure I'm not pregnant. Don't worry." She's still leaning her head on her hand. There's a hint of a smile on her face. I frowned, turning to Cindy, I asked, "You're pregnant?"

Cindy beamed. "Yes, three months now. Elian said we'll marry after I give birth to the child. It's too late now to schedule one, by the time it's scheduled, I'll have a noticeable bump." She sounded so proud. I looked at Elian and I understand they love each other. I winced, remembering what I did to Elian.

"It's alright." Lee whispered to me. I didn't realize she's watching me.

"Do you forgive me?" I asked directly. She didn't respond to my apology earlier. It's already too late when I realized I reached out to hold her right hand. We both looked down at it. I squeezed once, before letting go. She stared at me for a while.

She sighed, noticing Elian and Cindy's gaze on us. "Try to be a better person."

"I will." I promised.

We didn't talk much. Most of the time, it's just Cindy asking questions at her. Elian would butt in a few times. I'm already glad just to be sitting next to her. Elian and I had a short conversation on the side while the women talked on their own.

I asked if he can support Cindy and the child in a few months' time. He shrugged and replied that his pay at my company is already generous. He can do a workable budget around it. He then asked if I have any plan of offering Lee a position in my company. I raised an eyebrow at that. I noticed Lee glancing at us when he mentioned her name.

"She likes it here. If she wants a change in the future, I'll be glad to."