Memories of Tomorrow

19 - Lee Smith

I know he's a good guy. I just don't appreciate his obsessive tendencies. I also don't like his jealous streak. And his aggressive tendencies. I sighed.

Dammit. Even after what happened, I still like him. But in a way, I'm also starting to hate something about myself. Why am I giving this man so many chances? Could I ever let go?

He paid for the food we ordered, then he walked me home. But instead of walking inside my apartment, I sat on a bench right in front of the building. He followed.

"Do you hate me?" I can tell he's nervous, but I'm surprised by his question. I only said I hate him because he was doing something I hate. Do I hate him? On one hand, I'm starting to hate myself for always thinking about his kisses. On the other hand, I'm starting to hate him because he's the cause of me hating myself.

"Do you actually like me?" I asked back. As far as I know, I'm a person who doesn't put on enough make-up, without a good-paying job, no network or connections, no plans for the future, no savings, and I definitely don't offer my body to men I date. Not that I have one. I have none. Men I date, I mean.

I'm suddenly feeling reckless. I started feeling restless.

"You know I do. I've always liked you. Since day one. I'm sorry for being a jerk."

He was startled when I reached out to touch his face, then I grabbed his neck. I pulled him down for a kiss. To my surprise, he's the one to pull back.

"Wait, you don't want this..." he stated hoarsely. I rolled my eyes at his statement.

"Shut up and kiss me." I demanded. Yep, I've gone mad. I'm in for a terrible heartache if this doesn't work out well.

He sat still, just staring at me. I tried to pull his head down so I could kiss him again.

At last, he gave in and kissed me back. In a way, I like him this way.