𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞/ 𝐞𝐧𝐡𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐰𝐨𝐧

Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ 22

"No... what are you talking about?". Dr. Lee holds the doorknob.

"This, the person in this picture is oo. I'm your daughter, I'm Lee Louisa". I tried my best to smile while pointing at myself.

"You're not...". I smile faintly.

"Yes, I am, I'm Louisa, you daug-"

"I don't have a daughter". My smile dropped when he said that and quickly left the room.

I left here with my mouth hanging open. I'm too stunned by what just happened. That was fast, he just left like that? What did I do?

My tears that have been betraying me since the start can't stop, It just keeps on flowing. They did great at their job, I'm now a soulless college girl staring in the air while crying.

I didn't know what just happened, I just don't know!

A minute of continuing crying. I'm just lucky there's no one in this room and no one really enters the room until I calm myself down.

I decided to skip class and quickly go home to find any trace of my father anywhere.

I went to my mom's room to find the old photo that I saw when I was young. I looked at my birth certificate and all the things that are connected to my father. I almost flipped our house just to find the things I need because of desperation and spent almost two hours. They, my family, decided to hide the truth to me that lends me to become like this.

That's their fault for not telling the truth. It doesn't matter if they did that for my own sake, but they lied! They told me that my father died in a plane crash, why don't they just say that mom and dad just broke up and divorce? Why would they have to lie? it doesn't make sense!

I'm saying these words because of anger, I'm infuriated and this is bad, this is really really bad. I don't know what to do.

I want to yell at them and tell them everything but I'm exhausted, I just want to know my dad, is that bad?

Screw reviewing, I'm going to drink this. I don't care anymore about the qualifying exam that will happen tomorrow, I just want this pain to go away.

After I put back all the things I messed up in their own places, I left the house. I went to the nearest convenience store and bought alcohol.

"What?". The cashier looked away.

"I'm old enough, here's my ID". I pulled my ID out of my wallet and placed it on the counter for him to look at it and to let him know that I'm old enough.

"Thank you". I got the bag and left the store.

On my way home, I can see the boys but they can't see me since they are bickering with each other as usual but Jungwon is not with them.

I quickly ran inside the gate and jumped in surprise to see Jungwon inside our gate.

"Are you going to give me a heart attack?!". I slapped Jungwon's shoulder to move him out of my way.

"You're not at your class when we went there to go home so I quickly went home to check y-"

He stopped talking when his eyes moved down to the bag that I'm holding, I put it behind my back but they made a sound, I hate my life!

"You're drinking again-"

"I'm not. Go home". I ignored him and continued walking to our house and went up to my room to get rid of the pain that I'm feeling right now, I hope so.

I hate everything right now, I don't want to talk to anyone.

Without an hour I already finished all the semi-small bottles of alcohol and it keeps on going until I finish all the bottles that I bought. I am that fucked up to finish it without feeling the heart burn? I'm just numb, all parts of my body are numb. I still can feel the pain but I'm numb, do you get what I mean? I'm numb but I'm still feeling the pain.

I'm really fucked up...

I'm slowly getting asleep when a knock really knocks on my soul to wake up. I didn't answer because I know who's that, I know that knock.

"You there?". I still keep quiet.

"Okay, I know you're there-". I'm right, it's Heeseung.

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you, I'm sorry...". I'm drunk and not in the right mind so I keep my mouth shut.

"Lou? please answer, just to make sure you're okay". He begged. I silently cleared my throat before answering.

"I'm fine, I'm busy. I'm not eating dinner, I already ate". Well that's a lie, all of the words I just said are all a lie.

"Thank you for responding, I won't bother you". I heard his footsteps departing.

As soon as I lay my body on the bed, tears started to stream. How can my father deny that I'm not his daughter while he knew my mom and my brothers, I mean how?

I hate the world! I hate everything!

My only wish is to feel what is like to have a father who's been there from the start, the time you were born, they moment of your first walk, the moment of eating solid food, the moment of making friends, the feeling of having a father when it's needed, when there's family event. The moment of growing up and having to feel to have your family complete.

I'm a puzzle, and something is missing, a piece of puzzle. I won't be able to complete without that piece, that's father. I need to know him and have a moment with him even in just an hour, that's the piece that has been missing.

I wanted to ask my mom and my brothers why they did that, why they lied at the same time. I don't want to talk to them, I don't want to have this kind of conversation with them. I'm afraid, just like how Hyung yelled at me but I want to know the truth.

I suddenly got up from my bed and it caused a major headache, my view turned into 360.

Despite the most painful headache, I still managed to go to my desk to get my laptop. As soon as it opened, I quickly searched for him.