Flaws of a wife

Chapter 20🍃

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🥀 Flaws of a wife 🥀

           🥀chapter 20🥀

The urge to be alone and free was all I wanted and all I got!For the past two weeks that I've left home,I was alone all to myself.The journey wasn't easy cause I feel I was missing home but slowly I started to adopt to the change.I convinced myself that this was what I wanted and this was also for my mental health.

One thing that was disturbing me was the urge to run back home to my husband.I knew right from the beginning that this was going to be my biggest challenge but then I thought,if I had gathered the courage to leave,then I would definitely have the strength to stay away but then I initially figured out that I was wrong.It wasn't going to be so easy.Although I tried my very best,things weren't really working on my favor regarding this.

Besides from been homesick,everything was working out just fine.I had the advantage of having my atm card and also my car with me so I drove around the neighborhood whenever I felt bored of being indoors all day.I also did went shopping for food stuffs and groceries although the resort had a restaurant,I couldn't keep up with having to buy food every single day.

And then my next concern was sooner or later I would be running out of cash which brought me back to another reality of life.For the past years I have been living under the roof of Mahfouz as his wife,he had given me all that I needed,he took care of all my needs and fulfilled all my responsibilities and to be honest I lacked nothing,but what I failed to understand was that my whole life was depending on what Mahfouz would give me financially and also decisions he make for my life.I failed to build myself,I had nothing written on my name that I could call my mine.the only thing I could call mine is the car Mahfouz bought for me and that's all.Now I couldn't even call his house mine since he has gotten another with who has given birth already and would continue to give birth which makes me end up with nothing achieved in my life.

And I came to the realization that wives like me have no independence!Yes we had no independence since we were living off someone,we had to do as they say and we have to spend what they give us and god forbid if they were to ask us to leave or if they were to abandon us then our live would practically be put to a halt.And unfortunately this is the sad truth.

I have never wanted to have something doing in life like this days.I could remember back then when my dad's elder brother Baba Sadauki would always preach and advice me to start up any kind of business I want and he even promised to give me a huge sum of money as capital to start up a business with.I could vividly remember his words
"Sarah my daughter,I keep telling you this and am going to tell you now,marriage is nothing but a life full of trials which you are expected to pass each trail through patience and critical thinking,am not asking you to keep quite and get maltreated no,in fact whenever things go out of hand come home to me.And also Sarah I know your responsibilities are well taken care of by your husband and I know his capable enough but no matter how rich he is his money isn't yours and when you get older you would realize this so please get yourself doing something I could even plan you a trip to Dubai or maybe Malaysia so that you could get some women clothings and accessories that you could sell here and you're going to make a lot of profit and also keep yourself busy...."

This were always Baba sadauki's words,he was a very simple man and also wasn't so strict like my father although he was the elder brother.

And then I realized,I could always go to baba Sadauki's house in Kano and I am sure he would support and guide me through the right way.He was someone that always loved me since when I was a little girl,he had never differentiate me among his biological children.