UNDERSTANDING

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I was sitting on the couch looking at my phone; re-reading how Oli had said he felt special because Ivy smiled when I told her he was coming back. His response made me feel silly for worrying about sending him photos, and I felt so warm and fuzzy. It was obvious how much he cared about her, and I couldn't stop smiling.

"What are you so happy about?" Cass asked as she emerged from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her head.
"Oli called, he's coming back in a few weeks." I replied. Cass kind of furrowed her brows at me. "Oh..." she replied. I knew she didn't like him, but surely she could appreciate that he was trying to be there for Ivy, trying to be a part of her life. "He's getting here the day after my Birthday." I added. She kind of looked at me for a moment then sighed as she turned on the coffee machine.
"Wills... I know you don't want me to say it, and I know I've asked you this before, but you're not going to fall in love with him again are you?" she questioned. What the hell? Where did that even come from!??! She thought I was 'falling in love' with him just because he was coming to visit his daughter? "No!" I stated way too quickly. She shot me the weirdest glance. "I'm just worried that if you spend a lot of time with him again that maybe you'll catch feelings again, especially since you already had them." she said. I know she was just looking out for me, but I actually felt kind of offended.
"I'm not in love with him anymore, Cass. How could I be after everything that happened and even if I was, which I'm not, I would never, ever act on it when he is in a relationship." I said calmly. "I would never do such a thing and you know it! Do you really think that little of me?" I squealed. I was actually really offended.
"I know you wouldn't do anything, I just know how you felt about him and it's really hard to just shut that off. I just don't want you to get attached to him and end up hurt again." she replied.
"I won't, Cass. I will never love again. My heart belongs solely to Ivy now." I insisted.
"Wills... you will love again one day..." Cass said.
"No, Cass. I won't and that's OK." I replied, shutting it down.

She went about making her coffee while I just sat looking at the news on my phone. "I wonder if Oli has told Zoe yet. I wonder if she's going to stay with him..." Cassidy asked hypothetically as she sipped her drink. "I mean, I wouldn't if I were in her shoes, but she seems like a leech, so I guess she will. She wouldn't give up the fame she gets from being with him." she said with a shrug. What the hell? I guess maybe she was thinking out loud, but I wasn't about to reply or start thinking about it. It was none of my business. "By the way, the girls keep asking when they can meet Ivy..." she said as she wandered past me. "You haven't even sent them a photo!" she said. She was right. My friend group had asked me a few times and I'd just ignored them or said soon and then claimed I'd forgotten. I really needed to speak with Oli about my friends meeting Ivy. She was 3 weeks old now... I'd kept them away for so long! 

I didn't know how I was going to deal with the new truth, if I could speak about Oli... they knew about Jayce and thought he was the Father, but they weren't blind; they were going to know that he couldn't be the Father based off of the way Ivy looked. They also knew about my time with Oli, and I was sure one of them would put the pieces together straight away. "Wills, remember you were so freaked out about telling them you were pregnant and it ended up being such a positive thing? This will be the same. They love you and they're going to love Ivy no matter who her Dad is." Cassidy stated.
"It's not that, I just don't want it to get out, for Oli's sake." I replied. Cassidy frowned at me.
"Willow, you worry way too much about him. Fuck what happens to him! He got you pregnant after being an asshole to you. You shouldn't not be excited and share your happiness with your friends because it might upset him. Fuck that." she stated. I guess she was right, but still... he had a lot of reputation and I didn't even know if he'd told everyone he wanted or needed to tell yet. I knew his family and the guys knew, but had he even told his girlfriend? He'd only had a couple of weeks and he'd been on tour the entire time... "Wills, none of them would go blabbing to the media or anything, anyway..." Cass added. She was right, I did trust them.
"I'll talk to him about it the next time he calls and we'll organise a date for them to meet her soon." I told her. She smiled at me, like she was happy.

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