ROSES (Oli Sykes Fan Fiction) COMPLETE

MESS

Oli was practically dragging me as we headed down a hallway until his manager appeared and asked where he was going. He wouldn't tell him, but he said he wouldn't be long. His manager kind of raised his eyebrows at him and gave him a warning; ten minutes until he had to be at the stage. He took my hand again and pushed open the door to the fire stairs and lead me up 3 storeys, walking next to me then semi-dragging me as we hit the last flight of stairs. "Come on slow poke, didn't you hear that 10 minute warning?" he asked with a laugh. I frowned at him so he just smiled, and my heart raced – the stairs were definitely part of it, but his smile floored me every time. Oli always kept me on my toes with adventures, fun, cheekiness and I absolutely loved it. Life was never boring with him and time was never dormant. I was in the most incredible mood from everything that had happened in the past couple of hours. My fears had lessened and I definitely felt like Oli and I had something amazing, even if he was always going to be a little hesitant. 

Once we reached the top floor, he opened a door that led out onto the roof. It was humid and dark and the sound of the air-conditioners running at full capacity was almost deafening, but as my eyes adjusted, the view of the city was beautiful. "Pretty cool, huh?" Oli asked as he stood beside me. I closed my eyes and smiled to myself as I turned to hug him; everything that happened since I arrived in Acapulco made me feel like he'd finally let me in, like he let his walls crumble and the way he was so affectionate with me in front of his friends made me feel like maybe he was ready to give me his heart, or at least some access to it. He put his arms around me and we just stood there silently for a while. I hated that I was going to have to say goodbye... I would have given anything to stay with him.
"I'm so sad that this is our last night together." I admitted.
"I know, me too. It went so fast, right?" Oli replied. I just stood there. I wanted him to tell me it would be OK; that he wanted to be with me... that I'd get to see him again before he toured the USA in 6 months time, but he just stood there with his arms around me. I couldn't stop thinking about what Cassidy had said to me, about being upfront with my feelings and finding out where I stand with him. I was terrified to take that leap, but I needed to know if there was a chance for us... if everything he said meant something... if the affection he showed me was real... if everything I gave him wasn't all for nothing. I didn't want to push him, but I kind of needed to. I needed clarity. I felt terrified and anxious, but hopeful, and I was confident that he felt the same things as me. I was planning on waiting until we were back at the hotel after the show to talk to him about it, but the moment felt right, and I felt the words coming before I had even decided to talk.
"I really like you, Oli." I blurted out. I didn't even think about what he would say or think about my confession, it just came out.
"I know... you shouldn't." he said with a tiny kiss to my forehead. His reply didn't exactly give me any answers, but his kiss gave me hope.
"I can't help it... I like you a lot, more than a lot." I admitted with a tiny laugh.
"Don't say that." he kind of laughed.
"But I do." I said. "I like everything about you. I don't think I've ever liked anyone as much as I like you." I confessed. He didn't say anything, but he wasn't pushing me away either, so I kept going.
"I care about you and I enjoy every minute I'm with you. I can't even imagine you not being around anymore." I admitted. He was still silent but he didn't seem to be freaking out so I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, and in that moment, I decided to jump off the edge - metaphorically - and pray that he would catch me. It was like my heart had control of my mouth and my brain had no chance of intervening.
"If I'm being honest... I think you're perfect, even when you're not. You give me butterflies, you make my heart race and I just feel happy with you. I have feelings for you that I haven't really had before. Real ones. Deep ones. I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that......" I said with a hard swallow. "I... love you." I said softly. It felt like the entire world went silent – like everything stropped and there was nothing else but us, even the sound of the air conditioners suddenly disappeared. I didn't hold back anything, I put it all on the table for him to see. I told him exactly how I felt and while I knew he wasn't going to say it back, I just hoped he could be accepting of my feelings. I just wanted him to not be terrified of being loved by me.