Unrequited Love

Chapter 16 - Mikhail

Two days. Two fucking days since I had assaulted that sweet mouth of hers. Her lips that had felt like cotton against mine. I had half a mine to do so much more to her - to own her in more ways than one. But I stopped myself in the nick of time. I didn't want her reading into this too much. It was only lust after all, right? I don't know what had come over me, but whatever it was, it wasn't good.

Jesus. Just thinking about her made my cock stiffen in my cargo pants. I rubbed my hand exasperatedly across my face as I thought about the way I had found her in a corner, lost in a book. And not just any book - it happened to be her favorite book too. Little Women. A sardonic chuckle slipped past my lips as I recollected her constantly jabbering about how much she loved the March sisters. At the time, I hadn't paid any mind to her bookish talk - as any older brother would obviously. I was too involved in either killing or fucking - the only things that my life revolved around during those days. And I regretted it. Every second of it. Every single one of my shabby actions. I had been a shitty brother and I had failed to protect her. Add that to my list of sins that I'd have to take to Satan in hell.

I hadn't been in my right mind when I quoted Little Women. Or even Gone With the Wind. What was I even trying to achieve? Groaning, I let my head fall onto the bed as I tried not to overthink - something that was impossible since overthinking was my middle name now. I had never felt such things ever before. It had been the same old routine. I see good pussy, I flirt the lady up a bit and an hour later I would be balls deep inside said pussy. But it never came down to discussions about books or anything for that matter with any of them. The women that I'd fucked in the past had been smart enough to not awaken the sleeping dragon and would usually leave immediately, knowing that they wouldn't get anything from the Russian Mafia's resident playboy. So what was different this time?

But of course, a lot of things had changed since then. I mended some of my ways and disciplined myself more over the years. I was in control now - and I'd make sure that it'd stay that way till the end. I stared up at the ceiling, knowing that there was only one way to ease the tension. The only way I knew how to deal with my demons and dark thoughts - pummeling my fist into someone else's face. I stood up and got dressed quickly as I realised that I had very little time left until I had to go to one of the safe houses near the mansion for a meeting. I guess I'd have to be quick.

***

All eyes turned to look at me as I walked into the gym and made my way towards the punching bag. I pretended not to notice the way all my men cowered under my authority, but I must say, it did wonders for my ego. I strapped on the gloves as the red bag came into my vision. Something carnal came into me as I visualised that fucker's face instead of the punching bag. Taking a deep breath the way that I had been taught to, my fists finally made contact with it as I unleashed all the frustration.

I would find him.

Hit.

I would carve out his insides until he was writhing in pain.

Hit.

Until he begged for my mercy.

Hit.

The same way she had begged for his mercy time and time again, but he had shown none.

Hit.

I wouldn't be able to live in peace until I had hunted him down.

I kept pummeling and continued the same rhythm as everything around me blurred. Until I felt the red hot searing anger in my veins. Until the chains rattled and the bag finally gave way and fell to the ground. I dropped to my knees, completely spent - both physically and emotionally. These days I didn't even know what to think. People said that time heals wounds but it seemed that quite the opposite was happening with me. Those wounds grew bigger and burned a little more as each day passed. Another day with no luck finding him. Another day where she died in vain.