Rejection From His Alpha. (ManxMan)

Going Through The Motions

HUNTER'S POV:

"I really don't want to listen to this anymore, Court. Just piss off and leave me alone". I hiss with venom, I know I should apologise for such behaviour around a woman, but she really gets to  me.

My whole body thrums with energy, annoyance and anger, my idle wolf is joining in on the hate train for my 'mate'.

I slam the door to my study, I turn and make my way to the terrace, the warm breeze of the afternoon somewhat calms my wolf and mood, I lean against the railing and sigh quietly.

I scan the forest, it's really beautiful up here, the autumn leaves radiating in the golden sun light, I smile briefly at the sight.

The pack house has always been around such beautiful scenery, the last place was in Oregon, the place before that was in Rome- fuckin' Rome, man.- and now we're in SummerHill, a small county in the south, we all needed a new break after...

The reminder of what happened six years ago still hurts like a bitch, the feeling is god awful, it has my wolf howling for his rejected mate and my stomach is twisted into painful knots.

My eyes sting, I roughly wipe them away with my sleeve. Ignoring the bite of my fabric against my skin. Tears don't help, I fucked it up myself, I have no one to blame but myself.

Regret, the only feeling that courses through me whenever I think of Charlie, regret for how I acted, how I treated him, for rejecting him and not shutting his lips with mine so he couldn't utter his rejection.

YOU FUCKED UP, STOP WALLOWING! I DONT HAVE A MATE AND YOU LET THAT DECEIVER TOUCH YOU.

I cringe at the hate in my wolf's voice; he really abhors me and Court.I can't blame him, I hate me too.

An Alpha is nothing without their mate and that saying is truer than I care to admit.

I'm nearly 25 and my dad is still the Alpha of our pack, he won't give me leadership over the pack until he dies and even then I doubt he will.

The idea that one moment could ruin everything, I don't even know why I rejected him! You shouldn't be able to find your mate until you're in manhood, until you're mature enough to know who you are.

I slept with him the night before and It felt amazing, he was perfect, our bodies just fitted together perfectly and I take pride in knowing I was his first and back then I hoped I would be his last.

Just the idea of someone else sharing him, feeling what I felt with him makes me grit my teeth and growl, my hands clench at the thought of him happy with another man...with children.

The idea of having a male mate was scary to me, well young me, but now all I want is him, I want him back, I would love to show him off and proudly declare him as mine.

But no, I can't.

Because that fateful day, he left the pack.

Packed up and ran off and I don't blame him, everyone treated him awfully, his parents are broken...their youngest cub ran away and they blame themselves.

But it's my fault.

Hanging my head in shame, I remain here for god knows how long.This is the life I deserve, an uneventful and unloving one.

Just living through the motions.

Sighing heavily, I stand up and rotate my neck working out the knot.

My hands tighten around the cool metal.

I wonder what he's doing right now.

I really wish I was with him, just being there in the moment.

"Hunter, come for dinner". My mother's voice reaches me, I sigh quietly, I'm 25 years old and my mom still makes me dinner.

Pushing myself away from the balcony, I make my way downstairs.

....

The dinner was amazing, naturally.

Mother's do tend to make the best food ever; well, mine does anyway.

Huh.

Pushing up from the packed dinner table, I drift off away from my pack and find myself outside on the porch, the sky now getting dark; I pull out a cigarette from my pocket and light it up with a lighter I've had for a year, its green, which is Charlie's favourite colour.

I bring the lit cancer stick to my lips and I inhale quickly, I rejoice in the feeling of my stress level go down.

I exhale and watch as the smoke disappears into the sky.

"Where are you Charlie?".

Silence is my reply.

I guess I lost that right, when I broke my mate.

My stomach sinks, god, I've fucked up so much.

I just wish I could have a second chance.

"Because I promise you this Charlie, when I do find you, I am not letting you go- you're mine". I look up at the darkening sky, speaking my promise to the stars because where ever he is, we're both looking at the same sky- different time zones, but the sky is one.