Friends to lovers - Sebastian Stan x fem!reader

Part 5 - Telling Seb

' of course'

I take a deep breath. Messing with my fingers to control my breathing.

' so in June I got pregnant. Tom was the dad obviously. We both were very excited, we went to all scans listened to all doctors advice and then in November we lost them. Tom blamed himself and i blamed myself so we argued with each-other for a while. But then we fixed things, until i got bitter and seen Tom started just well accepting it and i was still mourning. Ive been going therapy and I'm getting better but being around tom wasn't helping. And well i cant be with him. Its not his fault its mine, my body rejected our child and now my body is rejecting Tom. I love him, we didn't split because i don't love him far from it. '

The tears fell. I couldn't tell any more of the story, how was i supposed to. The tears were silent, all you could hear was the sounds of cars passing by on the streets below.

' y/n none of this is your fault.'

He wrapped me into a hug, my arms wrapping tightly around him. The tears still continuing to fall. I focused on his heart beat matching my breathing to his.

' thank you for telling me.'

I didn't respond, i still clung onto him not wanting to let go. It felt good to get it off my chest. Yeah i have my therapist but he helps me with getting over and accepting the loss .

We stayed like that until the tears dried. I pulled away seeing his grey t-shirt had now a darker stained circle where my tears had fell.

'Y/n ' he breaks the silence looking down at me. ' come to the premiere with me and mackie.'

I thought about it and then nodded my head in agreement. It will be fun right ?. I was close to both of them and they would help if any touchy topics may rise.

~~~~~~

Being back home was exactly what i needed. Home being New York not England. Lin Manuel Miranda had approached me to audition for the role of Eliza in Hamilton. The current actress was given a role in a new show and he needed a replacement.

I was flattered he approached me and i gladly accepted going to the audition 3 days later. People say they hate auditioning but I actually enjoy it, its the thrill i love the most.

The audition went amazing! And i was offered the role there and then, and you know exactly what i said.

' SEBASTIAN' i shouted down the phone as he answered.

' is everything okay?'

' yeah are you free to talk'

' of course doll'

' i am going to be performing on Hamilton!'

Seb knew how much i love the show, i have wanted to be a part of it since i saw glimpses of Lin writing the music for the show. I heard him cheer down the phone which made me smile.

' well done! When I'm back we are celebrating. And i am coming to watch you!'

' thank you! I need to go but i wanted to tell you my news'

' its amazing news! I will talk to you late doll' he hung up the phone and with that i called a cab over getting to Toms apartment.

This was the thing i was regretting to do. I had to collect my belongings to take to my own apartment. It had been a month since we split and things were becoming easier for us. It was obviously still slightly awkward, but we didn't have the awkward eye contact moments.

We told the rest of the cast, they started clicking that something wasn't right. We didn't tell them why we split we just told them that we had. Its no ones business really is it?

Tom let me in. He had a few weeks off so he started helping me to pack my boxes so i could take them straight away.

We had agreed to still be friends. I mean we have to. We work together with marvel and its likely we will work on other future projects.

After a brief exchange in conversation between us both i put my boxes in the cab that waited outside for me. But of course there was paparazzi swarming the building.

I zoned out to any questions that were getting asked to me. I just placed my sunglasses on and heard the click of photos being taken. I got into the back of the cab and the driver drove off to my apartments just 10 minutes away, in Manhattan.

As soon as i get to my apartment i begin unpacking a few of the boxes like my clothes, putting them in my wardrobe. I grab a pot out of my kitchen cupboard filling it with water and start boiling it on the knob.

I pour pasta in enough for one person and start chopping all my ingredients. I enjoy cooking, i find it quite therapeutic. Whilst doing so i put on the Hamilton playlist to start learning my lines. It wont take me ling considering i already know a lot of them. Like i said i have always wanted to perform in such a wonderful show.