My Gay Roommate (L.S)

Fifteen

I gaze over at the jacket that's scrunched up in the metal mesh bin beside my desk. It looks sad, just laying there with its crimson fabric and sewed on tasseled collar. The arm is hanging out the side of the bin, as if it's asking for help, to not be drowning in the paper that it lays upon, asking, help me, save me, take me back. But I don't. 

It's just a fucking reminder of last nights events. Louis' lips on that apple stealing son of a bitch's, his nun costume enveloping him in shadows. 

It stings, fucking stings like a nest of hornets, pricking at my heart. My head throbs with a hangover, mouth dry like sand, stomach rolling with the need of food or throwing up. Potentially both. But I just can't seem to give a fuck because my mind just continues to scream, Louis, Louis, Louis.

I roll over so my face is facing the wall. I lightly trace the texture of the wall, the paper bobbling beneath the pad of my finger as I do so, feeling rough but smooth all at the same time. I bring the duvet further up my chin, lips pulled down in a frown. 

"H," A light voice sounds, a gentle tap on wood, then there's someone brushing into the room with a faint woosh of the door. 

I look up at her, then avert my gaze back to the wall. "I don't want to get up. Let me wallow in my own pity," I mumble, still tracing the strokes of bobbly wallpaper.

The bed dips beside me and she lets out a sigh. "You've been in here all day, H! You haven't even eaten breakfast, nor lunch. It's almost three."

I shrug a shoulder. "Never mind."

Marie moves so that she's laying beside me, pushing me closer to the wall so my nose is almost touching it. I let my hand fall back down to the bed. 

"What Louis did was shit, I know, but you can't let that destroy you," She says calmly, her hand resting on my arm.

I turn so my back is on the mattress, head turned to the ceiling. "I never... I've never felt anything toward anyone before, A. Lou was the first one that got me to feel something. I thought..." I sigh, shake of my head makes my curls ruffle against the pillow. "He made out that I was something else, you know? Not just another of his one night stands where he takes them one night and the next, doesn't even recall a name. Maybe I was just a fucking charity case for him. He probs felt sorry for me or some shit, wanted to get under my skin or some other fucked up fuckery he does." My arm raises in the air exasperatedly before it plops down onto my tummy.

"Zayn and Li are talking to him now," Marie informs. 

I shake my head. "I don't want one of his shitty excuses, Marie." My nostrils flare, blood curdling like milk into butter. "Where's Ni?" I ask, wanting a change in the subject so the lump in my throat and the jab of my heart can leave. 

"He's gone to get us a Maccies."

I nod at that, chewing my lip. 

She grabs my hand, squeezing it lightly. "I'm sorry, H. I know you felt something toward him and he just threw it back in your face."

"Yeah, well, at least tomorrow we're all leaving for half term. Maybe a break away from him will help."

She nods, kissing my cheek. "Hopefully."

"I have Maccies!" Niall sings, walking into the room, holding up the bag and holder of drinks. He stops, lowering both and frowns. "Oh, Harry, you look like death warmed up."

I roll my eyes. "Gee, thanks, Niall, you really know how to put me in a better mood."

He winces slightly, sitting at the end of the bed, setting everything carefully on top of the duvet. "Soz. Anyway, I got you a double cheeseburger and some fries. There's also twenty chicken nuggets for us all to share, Marie, I know you wanted the chicken bacon wrap so shush your face." He hauls out the food, handing us ours and I sit up, the paper crinkling beneath my fingers.