Taekook Oneshots.

Wonder (A)

I was literally in the middle of a nervous breakdown and then I thought of this plot and wrote it while I cried AHAHAHAHAHAHA thanks ADHD lysm bestie 😝

There's no smut in this at all but the intended dynamics are top tae bottom guk lol it's not really important at all but sometimes I feel like knowing the dynamics makes things better.

Jeongguk is just so fucking tired of chasing after Taehyung. He laments about his heart break and decides it's time to finally stop longing.

I will probably do a part two from the other person's perspective.

Inspired by Wonder by Shawn Mendes
(No he's not peng get a hold of yourself)

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I don't want to love you anymore.

I hate feeling useless next to you and inferior to everyone around you. I hate the way your eyes sparkle warmly as you talk to others, because I'll never know if they sparkle and shimmer in the same angelic way when you talk to me. I hate that I can never distinguish between general kindness and loving affection, and I hate you for blurring those lines in the first place.

I know that you know I love you. Everyone knows. But you continually dodge the conversation, change subject, deflect the statement and try and distract me, doing everything in your power to avoid speaking about feelings.

It would've been less painful to stab me with a knife and slice my throat.

Sometimes when we stood too close to each other, our fingers would touch and we both know it wasn't by accident. Like when our pinkies interlocked as we walked along through the aquarium together. Nobody in their right mind would hold someone else's hand so gently and firmly, and smile at me the way that you did, without knowing what the implications were. Your eyes softened as they met mine, and in that moment, I felt so violently happy that I was worried I was going to vomit.

I know you know that I love you. Everyone Knows. And yet, you continually dodge the conversation, change subject, deflect the statement and try and distract me, doing everything in your power to avoid speaking about feelings because you're too much of a coward to tell me how you really feel.

I don't want to love you anymore.

I wish it was easy to stop; I wish I could just collect all the feelings and intense emotions that accumulated over the years for you and throw them away forever into a fiery pit of hell and watch them burn in front of my eyes and rise up into a cloud of dark, meaningless nothing and know for certain that they'd never materialise into something solid again.

Because I can't be putting myself through this torture much longer.

Bisexual. Bisexual. You hung that stupid flag in your room and stuck pins and posters in every available space, showcasing how proud you were about your sexuality. Cuffed jeans, flannel t-shirts and battered Vans that you wore everywhere; you really were a walking stereotype - I don't really mind you said to me when you came out when we were 17, I'll date anyone.

Anyone except me.

For months I had to endure the sickening sounds of you hooking up with random bimbos and brainless prostitutes while I sat next door and cried silently into my pillow because there was nobody in my life except you who I could talk to about something like this.

Through the walls, I heard you grunt in pleasure, your partners cry out in joy, while I screamed in pain and writhed in agony at the horrifying nature of reality that was surrounding me, encasing me. Suffocating me.