his good girl

twenty six

Pain is temporary but swag is forever.

My head is pounding as i stare up at my ceiling. My body is numb. I don't think i've moved in over an hour. I can't.

The house is empty. Everyone is at school and work. It's peaceful.

I'm not sure what time it is, but the front door clicks open. There's muffled mumbles from downstairs, but my ears are ringing too much to bother to listen.

I wanna cry, but my eyes and throat are sore. I'm hurt. My body hurts. My heart hurts. I just want to go to sleep, but i can't.

There's a gentle knock on my door.

"Yeah?" i mumble, my eyes heavy.

The door clicks open and my eyes flick over to it. You have got to be kidding me.

I roll over on to my side.

"Hey Dev." Luis says quietly.

"Go away." i husk.

"Devyn please talk to me."

"No. You're a liar."

"What did i do?"

I sit up, turning to him.

"Are you fucking kidding me? What did you do?" i raise my eyebrows at him.

"Devyn." he frowns.

"Maddy told me what you did." my voice breaks.

I watch as the realisation spreads through his face and it makes my heart wrench.

"How could you do that to me Luis?" i stand up now, walking around the bed to stand before him.

"Devyn i'm sorry i was drunk and..."

"That's not good enough." i whisper.

"I tried to call you the next day but your phone was off." he says sheepishly.

"The next day? Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"You told me i could hook up with other girls and-"

My body moves before my mind even processes and i slap him, hard.

"No Luis. Don't you dare give me that. You know this is different. We had sex Luis. Did that mean nothing to you?" my breath is becoming short as i push back tears.

Luis' face twists in pain as he lets me speak.

"This was all just a game to you wasn't it? None of this was real." i nod slowly.

"No! Of course it wasn't a game." he reaches forward to take my hand but i pull it back.

"I'm hurt Luis. You said you never wanted to hurt me, and you've done just that." i close my eyes and a single tear slides down my face.

"Just go." i whisper, turning around.

"I can't Dev." he huffs.

I turn around and he screws up his face as he looks at me.

"Fuck." he pushes his hands into his hair.

"I'm sorry Devyn. I can't do this anymore. I think i'm in love with you and i can't deal with it. I've never felt something like this before." he turns around, his hands latched at the back of his head.

My heart stops.

What did he just say? I feel light headed, like i'm gonna pass out.

"No." i breathe.

Luis turns around his eyes misty.

"What?"

"No." i repeat. "You don't get to do that."

"What are you-"

"No!" i yell, stepping forward and shoving him.

"Dev."

"You don't get to come here and do that to me!" i push him again, tears clouding my view.

"Devyn calm down."

"Get out!" i cry as i push him again.

I go to push him for a fourth time, but he takes hold of my wrists.

"Get off of me Luis!" i struggle against him, unable to catch my breath.

"Devyn please calm down."

"You lying asshole! Nothing you said was real!" i sob.

My bedroom door swings open and Niko walks in, Kobe at the door behind him.

"Bro, get off her." Niko demands, stepping between us.

Luis loosens his grip on me and i pull away, turning around and pushing my hands through my hair. I feel Kobe wrap me in a hug, but my brain hurts too much to focus.

"I'm sorry Devyn." Luis mumbles.

"You should go." Nik says sternly.

Kobe rubs my back, and moments later my bedroom door clicks shut.

I walk over to the bed and put my head in my hands, gasping for air.

"Breathe Dev." Kobe says softly beside me as Niko joins us.

My brother wraps an arm around me and i close my eyes.