Chapter 37

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-ASHLEYS POV-

I looked up at the stage tugging Eleanors hand pointing for her to look that it was Louis cue to start the song.

'The end of the night
We should say goodbye
But we carry on
While everyone’s gone'

I sighed realizing it was Harrys part. he gleamed up, looking at the balcony that me, Dani, Perrie and Eleanor were in. me and Niall had gotten back 2 weeks ago, and it was now 2013. they were having a mini concert, to open up the new year.

'Never felt like this before
Are we friends or are we more?
as Im walking to the door
im not sure'

I kept watching the boys intently waiting for Nialls part, since he had written this song for me i was overrly nervous to here him sing it. me and Niall hadnt started dating yet, but it was one of those things that, I dont need him to ask me out anytime soon, we are both happy together even if its not officially together. the chorus passed, and then came Harrys part.

'Never felt like this before
Are we friends or are we more?
as Im walking to the door
im not sure
But baby if you say you want me to stay
I’ll change my mind
'Cause I don’t wanna know I’m walking away
If you’ll be mine
Won’t go, won’t go
So baby if you say you want me to stay, stay for the night
I’ll change my mind.'

even if it was him, and all the other boys singing that part, there was way he said the words, that pained me. I tried to ignore the pain but it was practically freaking heard because he kept staring at me! maybe it wasnt at me, and I was just paranoid..

the song finished and me and the girls were on our feets cheering at the top of our lungs.

"before we finish up this concert," an Irish voice said loudly, trying to calm down the screaming girls "I would like to ask a very special girl something. Ashley? Ashley where are you? Someone get a spotlight over der!" Niall yelled to the lighting people. I suddenly felt very vulnerable, El, Dani, and Perrie sat down and i was the only one standing. what the hell was Niall doing?! a spotlight shone above me.

"Ashley, will you go on a date with me?" he asked, I was about to reply when there was a loud thump and the sound of feet running away. I looked over at the boys and realized, Harry had run off the stage.

I mentally face palmed. then i realized, Niall and thousands of teenage girls were waiting for my answer. I nodded, and attempted to scream back 'yes' Nialls face lit up like a little Irish christmas tree. I laughed and me and the girls grabbed our bags and headed to  backstage.

all the girls started talking about how far the boys had come, but my mind drifted on to other things. like harry, and niall, and how all the fans were right about me being a slut.

I hung my head low and kept walking, until I bumped into something. I looked up and, it wasnt a something, it was more like a someone.

"harry" I breathed looking into his empty eyes.

-HARRYS POV-

(a/n PLEASE READ ok guys, you know the song Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol, well if you start playing this song right now, it will give this part of the chapter a really good effect, so PLEASE PLAY IT! but if not its ok i still love you guys ok now read on)

WHY WAS I FUCKING JEALOUS? TECHNICALLY IM THE ONE THAT BROKE UP WITH HER.

I took a deep breath and ran my hands through my hair as I leaned against the wall.

this isnt like me,  to let a girl get to me, but there was something about Ashley. even singing the song that I knew Niall wrote to her, I threw my head against the wall. bang. ouchhh. bang. fuck!

I rested my head against the wall trying to clear my mind. I knew I had to go back to the boys, and pretend like I had to take a massive shit or something but I know Zayn would know something was up. I stood up and began heading in any direction. I blocked out everything as I began to think of what I would say to the boys.

soon I felt a very small body bump into me, I was about to snort back some rude comment when-

"harry" Ashley said. I unclenched my fists and looked at Perrie Dani and El.

"can I talk to Ashley?" they all nodded but didnt move. "alone?" I laughed and they 'ooooh'ed and started walking away.

"so, uh.. you guys did great out there" she smiled.

fuck! Niall was a lucky lad. but i think it was time, i just let her go.

"Ashley.....I love you, " I started

"I love you too Harry!" she smiled. but she didnt get it! I sighed.

"I think its best if I dont...err talk to you for a while.....just so that I can..err let go of you" I stuttered playing with my fingers.

she stared at me.

"what? i dont get it" she frowned, furrowing her eyebrows together like she does when shes watching a movie and she doesnt get it.

"i need time. to get over you, but..to do that, i cant keep bumping into you, and talking to you, its not helping" I sighed

"but-"

"look, I know Niall will make you happier than I ever could. he wont hurt you, he'll write you songs, he'll be the best boyfriend you'll ever have. and I hate myself because I could never make you as happy as Niall will. Ashley, all I want is for you to be happy. i dont want you worrying about me. you have a wonderful talent, use it, become famous, get married, have children, live the wonderful life  that I know you will just, I need some time to ..... get you out of my head. does that make sense?" I asked, finally opening my eyes, because if I had left them open, I would be crying right now, and thats not very man of me.

but Ashley was crying. she looked up at me.

"but Harry...we cant even -sniffle- be... friends?" she said, tears flowing out of her eyes.

I rested my hand on her cheek, wiping away some tears.

"it...its best if I leave for a while" I muttered, kissing her cheek softly, leaving it there for a little longer.

"i love you"

"I do love you too Harry, I do"

(A/N short chapter! mostly for filler, but I kind of cried a little writing this chapter, this book WILL be ending very shortly now.

but remember, SIALT isnt over yet! 
COMMENTS= LONGER CHAPTERS, FASTER UPDATEES

LOVE YOU ALL TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THIS CHAPTER! XOOX

-kristin valerie xox) 

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