𝐔𝐍𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃

43 | exothermic

Nox

I don't like hospitals.

The white walls and the pale color schemes. The white lighting that makes everything shine and look extremely clean to the point that it's uncomfortable to look at. The endless hallways and corridors that lead to hundreds of dreadful stories. The cold rooms and the cold chairs in the waiting room. The omnipresent smell of antiseptic which is a tad bitter that contains undertones of some artificial fragrance. The scent of chlorine, insulin and chlorophenols that somehow stays with you the entire day even when you leave the hospital. The way people run in and out in a frenzy, the steel cold looks of the doctors and the expressions of worry and agony that paint the patient's faces.

It all makes my skin crawl, because it brings back memories.

The two times, I've been into a hospital were rather despondent and I remember being emotionally numb afterwards to the point that formulating coherent sentences was difficult.

The first time was when my father had an accident in his previous job as a coal miner at Covert Coal Industries. Mining is considered one of the most dangerous professions in the US because of the unpredictability of the working circumstances. The dangers typically range from mine collapses to inhalation of harmful particles that prove to be hazardous to the workers' health. At the time, I knew that most of my father's friends who are also miners have to suffer from dreadful job-related fatalities and serious injuries; so that gave me enough reason to worry for his well-being. Especially when he had to work far away from home. My aunt used to take care of me and my brother until I was old enough to handle the situation at home.

And that's when the explosion happened at the West Field Mine in Nevada. From what I recollect, forty people were killed in that accident and there were even more casualties, my father included. And I had to find out during a call in the middle of the night when the hospital called saying that my father had been in an accident in his job. The mine collapsed and my father was one of the few survivors who managed to get out in one piece. That explosive blast caused so much damage to him; I felt I was going to die from agony.

I remember how my hands were trembling, my voice was so small while tears filled my eyes. I couldn't even physically react to the news because I was in shock. Being far away from my father and not being able to see him when he's hurt and he's in such a critical condition made me feel devastated to say the least. And when the doctor told me about the head, abdominal and pelvic injuries I was so close to losing my mind.

My aunt was sound asleep at the time, so I was the one who had to pick up the phone. But when she woke up, she heard all the details and then Axel woke up because of the commotion in the living room of our house. The next day, we took a trip to Nevada first thing in order to visit my father and that experience was horrifying mine and my brother's young minds. I was twelve when it happened and Axel was ten. I was seriously affected by my father's accident that whenever the smallest thing happened to him, I would immediately grow extremely worried. And while I was a mess on the inside, on the outside I appeared completely utterly emotionless, like I didn't give a care in the world.

And in the second time...

I don't want to get into it.

I'm currently sitting in the waiting room on the fourth floor, while Jimin is probably still with Evelyn in the ER. I don't know how long it has been since I came here; I haven't checked my phone because I'm too stressed to even move at this point. My face is buried in my hands as I'm patiently waiting for the glass doors to glide open. I need to see Yoongi. I need to see if he's alright, but chances are for him to be under general anesthesia, so he won't be up for a while.