Again (A Jordan Knight Fanfiction)

21

"Jordan stop, you have to go home. This was just this one time." Morgan doesn't look at him as she gets dressed. "I needed to feel you one last time. I needed one last memory of you. I needed closure." Morgan can't look at him because all she can feel is guilt for doing what she's done. As much as she wanted it and definitely enjoyed their time together, she feels guilty for doing it. Jesse doesn't deserve this. He's a good man and he's been good to her. Above that though, he loves her and she loves him.

There'd just always been this "thing" between them, preventing her from being able to move forward. Morgan tells herself this was what she had to do to get closure. Now she can go back to Jesse and have the life she deserves with the man who saved her.

"Morgan I know you felt what I just felt. There's still so much between us. We still love each other." Jordan feels so vulnerable right now. This girl has his heart in her hands. And he fears she's about to crush it.

"Jordan don't be like that. You're going to ruin this. Go home. Be a real boyfriend to Abby. She's the one who loves you. And I love Jesse. I'm going to go home and be a good girlfriend to him. Goodbye Jordan." Morgan doesn't look back as she walks out the door. She promises herself there's no more looking back ever again. From now on she only looks forward, into the future. A future with Jesse.

Jordan sits in the tiny motel room. Not wanting to leave, hoping she'll come back. But he's got a flight home to catch. Time to get back to his life. Morgan's not part of his life anymore. And she doesn't want to be.

Jordan straightens his back, steels his heart and starts pushing Morgan back out of his mind. He thinks about where he and Abby will go for dinner tonight. He thinks about getting back to work. He thinks about anything other than Morgan, because she's a lost cause. He's made his amends for the past and now it's time to move on. And the sooner he can get back to his real life the fucking better.

Jordan gets dressed and heads to the airport. After he checks in for his flight he texts Abby. "Hey Abs, my flight leaves in a hour. I'll see you before dinner. Let's go somewhere nice tonight. See you soon babe."

Jordan feels good about seeing Abby when he gets home. He's going to make a real effort. He's going to forget Morgan and stop letting her memory hold him back.

Jordan boards his flight home and just as he's turning his phone off he gets a text from Morgan.

I wanted to say thank you for today. I hope you have a wonderful life. You're a good man Jordan and you deserve happiness. I hope you find it with Abby now that we've had a proper goodbye and gotten closure on our relationship. It feels good to finally forgive you. A part of me will always love you J.
                                                -Morg

As much as it hurts, he hopes he never hears from her again.
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Morgan looks at the time as she pulls into her driveway. She doesn't have much time before Jesse gets home so she rushes inside and immediately jumps in the shower. She washes the intoxicating scent of Jordan off of her. She begins to cry as she showers and promises herself it's the last time she cries for Jordan.

Morgan finishes her shower and her crying. She grabs her phone and sends Jordan a last text telling him goodbye. And tells herself that that's it, it's officially over and time to move on. She feels good about how they ended things.

Jesse gets home and finds Morgan sitting in the living room waiting for him. She's dressed in a very sexy little black dress. Her hair is pulled up in a French twist. Her makeup is subtly done. She's wearing a pair of high heels that she knows he loves. When Jesse takes in her appearance he's mesmerized. "Well hello beautiful. Did I forget about some plans we had tonight? Let me run upstairs and get changed real quick." Morgan let's him believe he'd forgotten about their non existent plans.

Jesse comes back downstairs about fifteen minutes later. Showered and ready to go. "Okay I'm ready. So where are we going?

Morgan laces her arm through his and smiles at him. "I thought a nice romantic dinner for two would be nice. It's been a while since we had a date night."

Jesse isn't sure what happened today but she's acting like her old self again. She'd been so stressed and distracted since Jordan came back to town. He'd actually began to worry about her, but now she seems more relaxed than ever. And she's got the most beautiful smile on her face. It's got him intrigued.

Morgan had made reservations at the restaurant Jesse had taken her to on their first date. It's such a romantic gesture and he's pleasantly surprised.

They make small talk over drinks while they wait for their food. Jesse asks her how her day was. "It was good, I guess. I didn't really do much. How about yours?"

Jesse tells her about his crappy day at work, "But it's looking up now. This date night couldn't have been more needed. I'm glad you decided to do this. Thank you."

"Of course babe. You've always been so good to me, I know I don't always show you how much I appreciate you. But I hope you know how much I do."

"I know you do babe. I hope you know how much I love you." Jesse gets the feeling something's not right. She's so adamant to make sure he knows how much she cares for him. And it's not that Morgan doesn't tell him she loves him because she does every day. But she's never this mushy. The way she's looking at him, like she hasn't seen him in a long time. He can't quite put his finger on it.

"Morgan is everything okay? You're acting differently tonight. You're actually acting like you again."

Morgan's confused. "Like me again? What do you mean by that?"

Jesse doesn't want to say this wrong for fear of upsetting her. "Well you've been so on edge since Jordan showed back up here. You've seemed so distracted and at times really stressed. But tonight it's like the old Morgan is back. Did something happen with Jordan?"

Morgan feels this need to tell him the truth. To tell him she had sex with Jordan so she could finally get the closure she needed, but she knows he'd never understand. So she keeps its locked away inside her. "Yeah he left. He went home today. I got what I needed from him and was able to finally say goodbye and move on with my life, with you." She stops talking and downs her wine. Then she takes a deep breath.

"Jesse, I'm ready to start our life together with nothing standing between us. I love you and I can finally give you all of me. Jesse, will you marry me?"