To Stay Strong: A Holby City Fan Fiction (Kian & OC #3)(Complete)

Chapter 19

Haley went to the support group two days later. She felt so uncomfortable, surrounded by other women who had suffered miscarriages and stillbirths. The whole thing made her sick to her stomach. She wished she hadn't gone.
But, Kian had convinced her to come. It was important for her to know that she wasn't broken or damaged. It was something she needed to hear. Haley was scared that it would happen again if she gave up. Haley was afraid that if she stopped trying, she may have lost herself along with the child in her womb.

Each newcomer shared her personal hardships. Several times a counsellor tried to pull her back from her suffering. Haley found it difficult to hold herself together. The woman sitting next to her noticed and grabbed her hand.

"You can do this." She said, and Haley nodded.

When it came her turn, she did her best to hold her head up and tell them what had happened.

"I lost our Baby." Haley said, surprising herself. She had never even verbalized the idea to herself. "My husband and I found out the day we went in for the first ultrasound. It was supposed to be a happy day. We have been trying to keep going because we have a two-year-old daughter to think about. "

She pulled her hair over her shoulder and wiped the tears from her cheeks, trying to keep her face from collapsing.
"When our baby died, we were so broken." Haley continued. "But, we are getting better every day. Our marriage isn't perfect, we have arguments and things happen between us sometimes, but, we are getting there."

Why wouldn't I be okay? Why would I be so broken? Why do I feel so empty? What makes things even worse is Kian has always been there for me. He has always been our rock. I just thought that I couldn't keep it together. I have a history of mental illness......I guess miscarrying a baby we were hoping for was too much for me."

She heard about what other women had been through. Breaking down in tears, she could only imagine what it was like for the new mothers who were there.

Haley felt the tears push at her eyes. Farrah, this girl meant everything to her. How could she be so selfish as to risk her little girl? To risk her marriage to the man she loved? This wasn't the way she saw this happening. She wanted to be with Kian, she loved Farrah so much.

Kian did everything he could to stay clean. He was holding himself together for his wife, just like she was holding herself together for him. They were fighting to stay together for Farrah. They loved each other more than they knew. They were supporting each other, like they promised each other when she woke up from her sedative overdose in Holby three years ago. Just like three years ago, they knew they could be strong for each other.

The weeks rolled by, and the Madani house actually felt happy again. The family went out to the park more often. Farrah was growing up so fast, she had started to walk around, holding their hands. They savored their family time. Kian was better than ever. Haley watched Kian with Farrah. He would hold her hand and softly sing songs to her. He really was a good dad. It gave Haley genuine hope that he could stay clean and that when they were ready, have that second baby they both wanted.