Heartbreaks Cure (SIGHTSERIES#2)

CHAPTER TWENTY

I remember the time how she saw me crying because I was upset that time. I just felt useless before because I couldn't even decide what I really want since my parents, especially my mom keep pursuing me to take the course that I know... wouldn't make me feel myself proud at all.

"Why are you crying? Are you not happy that finally, you'll be a college student na?"
Lola Rita asked.

Tumingin ako sa kaniyang lumuluha at nang makita ko ang mukha niya, mas naramdaman ko ang muling pagtulo ng luha sa aking mata.

"Should I be happy? If... If I feel like I'm such a stupid? Because I couldn't think what I really want? I couldn't even decide what the job I want in the future. Everytime I imagined my future, I saw nothing. I don't have any choice but to let my parents control me what they want me to... take." I'm crying out of frustration. I need to cry it out all because I already don't know how to handle it.

"Buti pa sila Raylene, they already knew what they really like, unlike me." I sighed before I turned my gaze at her. Napakunot-noong tumitig ako sa kaniya dahil sa ngiting ipinapakita niya.

"You know what? You really stupid... literally," she seriously said which made me groaned a bit. "What? You already admitted to yourself that you're stupid, right? So anong inirereklamo mo kung sa ibang tao nangggaling ang salitang binabato mo sa mismong sarili mo?"

"I admitted it because that's what I think I am. I admitted it because that's the truth, Lola." Napayuko ako dahil naramdaman ko na naman ang pag-agos ng luha ko. "I-Its just that... hindi ko kayang marinig sa ibang tao ang mismong ibinabato ko sa sarili ko dahil mas napapatunayan ko lang na talagang... totoo."

Naramdaman ko ang paglapit niya sa 'kin bago unti-unti niyang iniyakap ang braso niya sa 'kin. I was about to lean on her shoulder but I stopped when she suddenly hitted me.

"Bakit mo naman po ako hinampas? I was about to lean on you, e..." I hissed.

"Because you don't even realize your wants, your likes!" Tumayo siya sa harapan ko na ikinayuko ko. "Your'e just stupid because you always treat yourself unfairly. Bakit mo iisipin sa sarili mo na ganoon ka dahil lang sa hindi ka pa makapagdecide sa kung anong gusto mo?

"I always look myself fairly, lola." I pouted.

"Well not this time, Lia. Hindi mo ba narinig ang mismong mga sinabi mo kanina?" She slightly rolled her eyes before she took a distance between us. "Hindi mo man lang ba naramdaman kung gaano mo minamaliit ang sarili mo dahil lang sa isang bagay na alam kong may desisyon ka ngunit natatakot ka lang na magsalita?"

Iniangat ko ang tingin ko sa kaniya habang nararamdaman ko ang unti-unting pagtigil ng aking mga luha. Tanging hikbi ko na lamang ang naririnig. Nang makita ko ang pagngiti niya sa akin, naramdaman ko ang kaginhawaan sa loob ko.

"You really know what you want. Its just that you are blinded by the thoughts of the people around you. Alam mo ngang hindi ka magiging masaya sa kursong gusto ng mga magulang mo para sa 'yo 'di ba?" She smiled. "Don't mind the people who's not even helping you to achieve what you really want. Just mind your own and follow your heart," she said and she even putted her hand on her chest.