The Fifth Member (Little Mix/Perrie Edwards GxG)

Chapter 27

Beth's POV:

So... Zayn is Perrie's fiance.

Honestly any other person would have been better.

I mean for God's sake. Not only am I falling for her but that guy is a douche.

What did I just think?

Scratch That. Delete. Immediately.

I can't fall for Perrie. Especially not now. She is freaking engaged and happy. I meant every word I said yesterday night.

And I'm not that person.

I'm selfish. I don't know how to deal with my troubles and in the process I hurt all the people around me.

Even though I dislike Zayn to a certain level, he's probably still better for her than me.

At least he got his life together. Has no grief around him everywhere he goes. Keeps making her happy.

Despite everything I'm happy it's at least him. Even though she still deserves better.

Soon our second studio album, Salute will be released. In 2 months anyway.

And in one month and seventeen days it will be two years since my family passed.

Wow. I'm such a bitch. How can I stop thinking about them? Honestly how dare I?

No matter how much work we had, I should have never stopped thinking about them. What the fuck is wrong with me?

I sighed. Perrie was still asleep and now I knew it's not gonna be long till I have no more resting nights. She will have moved in with Zayn. We've all been talking about moving into separate flats. I found one close to our studio and pretty much in a good centre where I can reach everything easily.

I stood up and got dressed quickly. In all actuality, I don't know why I'm hurting myself like that. Perrie was always out of my reach.

It will always be like that. I just have to get over it. Honestly it's not like I can expect her to just stay single forever just because I have a crush on her.

Exactly, a crush. Not falling in love.

I sat down in the living room and I started writing some lyrics down. That's how we all started to write our songs. Every time we feel like we get ideas we just write them down and in the end show them each other.

It took a lot of courage on my part to do so, but until now my lyrics always turned into something more.

I thought about the Zayn and Perrie situation and lyrics started flowing through my head.

Do you remember what he said? I do he told you he'll never ever hurt you.

Oh here we go again. Another break up, make up. When you gonna wake up?

I'm gonna be the one to call him out. Look how many times he's let you down.

When is he gonna learn to be a real man?

I'll be the one to say you're beautiful, one more word he never said at all.

I'm just saying you need to go forget that boy, forget that boy.