The Fifth Member (Little Mix/Perrie Edwards GxG)

Chapter 19

Beth's POV:

I woke up on the 25th of October hating myself more and more.

The first year passed. I'm 18 now, legal adult.

What a bunch of crap.

Sam has been overly attentive towards me, well at least as much as she could over the phone. Her college is a very strict one and she can't miss today especially since she has a big exam.

I reassured her it was fine and it really was. I'm glad she doesn't have to endure my pain as well. It pains her enough.

I don't know what the girls are planning. I hope they didn't plan anything. I'm sure as hell not gonna celebrate this shitty day.

And I'm definitely going to Fordwich to visit their graves today.

My father has been getting back on his feet. I'm glad that he does that but he still didn't forgive me. He also didn't stop drinking but he's managing to keep it outside the flat and not to be drunk at work.

He at least is providing for himself again. That's why I stopped going to Fordwich.

Sometimes he would surprise me by asking a question about my life at the moment or thanking me. Or even giving me kinda awkward smiles.

I can tell he's trying and that's all I ask for. A chance.

Most recently, He even said 'you did great in the competition.' He would say stuff like this at the most random time when I was there.

And even though we still didn't actually address our loss, at least we are somehow talking again.

However I will not visit him today. I'm a hundred percent certain that everything will come back today for him just like for me. So if I'm there his hatred might increase again.

Meaning I'll just go to the graveyard and then come back here.

I decided to just go right now. It was around 6 a.m. It takes 3 hours to get to Fordwich by train. So I'll be there at around 9 and then I'll need 30 minutes to get to the graveyard by foot. If I stay for half an hour it's gonna be 10 and I can take the train back here. Then I should be here at around 1 p.m.

Sounds like a plan.

So I stood up got ready and took the necklace given to me by my sister, the bracelet given to me by my brother and the earrings given to me by my mother.

All on the day I lost them.

The other presents by my relatives all got burnt in the fire. It's not that I care about the material. It was just the last thing I had by them.

I put the accessories on and then continued getting ready.

At the train station my mind drifted off to the girls again. They won't be worried will they?

Whatever they can text me in the group chat.

Soon we'll go on tour. It's only gonna be in the UK and Ireland but it's still big. We are gonna meet our fans.

I smiled when I thought about them. They are really cute and I'm so grateful for having them.

They comment, have pages dedicated to us and support and defend us in everything.

Some of them even use my name and then something else next to it for their user name and I'm so honoured to be important enough for them.

But they don't know me. Really they don't. They have no idea about what I did to my family.