I want you too ☾ ym ☽

32.

[ Tw : panic attack ]

" Hyung.." The older is walking ahead of him, trying to find a private spot to talk. Jimin has tried to call for him numerous time but the older is just turning a blind eye towards him evey time he does so.

Finally when they're away enough from their family and other people present there, then only Jin stops. Looking around once again before he unleashes his anger.

Jimin stops when the older turns around. There's a cold aura surrounding the older today. He never saw the omega like that. So wild, fierce and dominating.

" Why did you come back ?" Jin asks straightforwardly. He is not a fan of sugar coating his words. If he want, he can be blunt sometime even though, he's a very soft person. His bluntness is what makes people wonder if he's an alpha by chance.

" Are you planning to hurt Yoongi again ?" He puts special emphasis on the word 'again' to remind Jimin how he have done this one time before too.
Jimin shakes his head frantically, he could never. His intentions has never been to hurt the alpha.

Jin scoffs at him. How can he trust someone who has deceived him and broken all his trust ?

" Making him fall in love with you, giving him the false hopes and then just disappearing from his life like you never existed. What a good plan, Park Jimin!" The words are like a sharp arrow coated with poison, piercing right through Jimin's heart.

If Jimin braced his heart before coming here and thought he'd be able to take all the hate directed towards him, he was proved so wrong. The fear of being hated on was one of the factors why he didn't come back.

But he's stronger now, he keeps telling himself that so at one point his brain would start to believe it even if it's just a lie.
His friends need to release the pent up anger to forgive him, so he'll let them. He'll hear those hurtful words while crying silent tears.

" That's what you're the best at right ? Leaving people behind."
This is not his Jin hyung speaking. He knows. He knows it too well. It's just the anger and resentment he have in his heart.

" Hyung..." He tries to reach out for him, he want to engulf him in a hug like the older times. He wants to whisper 'sorry' to him and receive the head pats from Jin. And he'll make sure to do that, even if it requires a lot of time.

" I told you to stop calling me that." Jin grunts through his teeth. His legs are shaking because of how vexed he is. His veins so close to popping out.

" You lost the right to call me hyung, the day you walked away leaving your son and Yoongi behind."
Jimin hisses from the spiritual pain the words caused him. He blinks his eyes to stop the tears from dwelling in his eyes. But it doesn't work. It never did.

" Did the thought of coming back ever crossed your mind ?"
He looks up at that, looking into Jin's eyes. By the time, his eyes are wet too. The pain that Jimin caused to him is crystal clear in those forming tears.

" Did you even think if your son was alive or not ?" The words got a breath stuck in Jimin's chest. They're just words. But now that Jimin's reflecting on them, he can only wonder what would have happened if he was too late ? Or he if never got to meet his son ? Never saw the pretty face of his son that make his heart happy. He'd have lived the rest of his life captivated in the small bubble of resentment.

" No, right ? Then why come back now when they're perfectly fine and happy."

'Yeah, he's right. Why come back now ? They're happy without you. You shouldn't be here.' A voice inside of his brain screams. The voice that has been silent for some time now emerging again.

Jimin shakes his head. Yoongi told him not to let the negative thoughts inside. He doesn't want to let them seize his brain. But he's helpless.

'Your son was better off without a father like you. He despise you so much, who wouldn't ? You have nothing to offer.' A mocking laugh echoes in his head. The voices are getting confident on seeing Jimin get easily crumbled by their words.

He's pressing his hands to his ears. Hoping, the voices will die but they only got louder.

'Even Yoongi hates you so much. You, yourself saw how happy he was with Minjun. He loathe you so much. Always wishing you never came back.'

" NO! PLEASE." He's screaming back at the voices. Begging them to stop.
The tiny frame starts to shake frantically. The words are settling down in his brain and he starts to believe them for a second. He starts to believe that he don't deserve all this. He starts to believe that Yoongi and Eunjae was better without him. He starts to believe again that he don't deserve love that all he deserves is-

" Breathe." A soft voice comes to his rescue.
" Just follow as I say, okay ?" Jimin nods while holding the person close to him. He's fully aware of what's happening to him. It wasn't the first time it happened but it sure has been long since he experienced an attack, he's all shaken up.

" Breathe in for four seconds." The voice instructs. Jimin tries to follow but then the voices will start screaming again and make him close his composure. He'd clench his fist even hard at that.

" You can do it. Calm down."
Jimin feels the soft hand rub on his back, and he finally succeeds in taking a long breath.

" Hold it for seven seconds."

" Now exhale for eight seconds."

His grip became tighter on the person he was holding on to.
" Let's do it again." The voice kept instructing him and Jimin kept following it. It took him quite some time before he felt like he was okay. The voice in his head slowly fading by this point.

When feeling fine enough, he opened his eyes to see Jin holding him close to his chest. He didn't say one word and just hugged him closer, he wants the comfort that the omega is providing.

" You're okay." Jin pushed his hair out of his eyes softly. He knew about Jimin having anxiety attacks from when they were in college. But today was a different view. He has realised that he triggered Jimin into that state. He was too harsh on him.

" Hyung.." Jimin calls lightly, afraid Jin might stop him this time too.

But, Jin doesn't have the heart to do so. He just wants to keep the omega safe in his arms.
" Yeah, hyung is here." He hasn't forgiven Jimin just yet but, that doesn't mean he'll leave his friend in the time when he need him the most. Even though that friend has hurted him, he is still his friend and resides in a big corner of his heart.