Blossom Beach: Perfectly Wrong

Chapter 38

Jax

A loud thumping on my front door causes me to fall out of bed, the place where I have been staying the past couple of days. Without Hailey, my life seems so empty. I don't feel like eating or drinking. Every now and then I will take a shower, only to fall back into bed. Nothing makes me want to get up. Nothing motivates me to leave the sanctuary that is my bed. Mom has taken my siblings out of town, which means not even they could distract me.

Every time I think I feel slightly better, I remember how much pain I'm putting Hailey through, and I feel worse than before. All I want to do is drive to her house and cuddle with her. Then tell her how much I love and miss her, but I can't do any of it. I have to let her move on with her life. Without me. Without the poisonous snake who stole her father from her and lied to her about his past.

The thumping gets louder until it eventually stops. I can hear the door unlock and a few seconds later, an angry Ryder is standing in my bedroom.

"Dude, you have got to open a window! It smells terrible in here." He opens the curtains before opening the window as well. I groan and sit up in bed. "You look like shit." He sits down next to me on the bed and laughs.

"What's so fucking funny?" Hearing my voice is strange. I haven't talked in days and apparently, I'm not used to hearing myself talk anymore.

"Let's get you out of here. You need to eat something. " Ryder pulls me up with him and leads me to the bathroom. "Shower. You smell." I roll my eyes and rip my wrist free from his grip. I shut the door in his face because I'm done hearing him complain. "Hey, man?" His voice is serious then, and I'm curious. He hardly ever sounds this serious.

"Yeah?" I ask in return.

"I'm really sorry about Hailey. I know you love her." I let out a sigh.

"I still do. I always will." My head drops against the door and a tear rolls down my cheek. I quickly wipe it away before undressing.

I turn on the shower before stepping inside and letting the warm water run down my rigid body. I brush my teeth and put on shorts and a shirt. Ryder is waiting patiently on my sofa, staring down at his phone. He seems completely taken in by whatever he is looking at. When I come out of the bedroom, he smiles.

"Ha! Hunter owes me twenty bucks. He said I wouldn't be able to get you out of your bedroom." He finally gets up and stands in front of me.

"I'm glad my misery earns you money." I frown at him but he simply shrugs in response.

Ryder and I drive for about ten minutes until we arrive at 'Hallewell's'. I look at the clock, panic washing over me. Hailey is working right now, at this very hour. I stare at the restaurant. The thought of her being so close by makes me want to run inside. Yet, knowing how much I hurt her also does the complete opposite.

"Don't be a coward. I don't have time for this shit. You are going to be a man and get your woman back." Anger replaces the feeling of sadness.

"You have no idea what you are talking about. Do you think I don't want to be with her? There is nothing I want more. But I am not good for her. Since the day I met her, I have been lying to her. She doesn't deserve that. She deserves so much better than me. That's why I broke up with her. That's why I can't be with her." I drop my face into my hands and tear at the roots of my hair. I'm frustrated, humiliated, and broken. Completely broken by the fact that I can never be with Hailey.

Ryder turns to face me. He is calmer than I expected him to be. He isn't mad because I just yelled at him, but he also doesn't show any signs of compassion. All I see is disappointment, and I know why. He thinks I'm giving up without even fighting.

Ryder shakes his head and opens the car door. "I'm going inside. When you stop feeling sorry for yourself, maybe you can join me. But right now, I am going inside to talk to Hailey. She is my friend, too, and she has more balls than you. She isn't spending all her time in bed, crying. No. She is working her ass off. She is trying to find a way to get back with you." He stops to look at my reaction. I'm overwhelmed by everything he's telling me. "Man, you have got to stop blaming yourself for your father's death. It wasn't your fault." My eyes go wide as my mouth forms a straight line. "What? You honestly thought I wouldn't know?" His green eyes pierce through mine, and I can't breathe. He saw right through me.

"That's not the only reason why I broke up with her." My voice is quiet, my words almost inaudible.

"I see. Well, I'm sure you have a good reason for breaking up with the woman you love." I don't look at him anymore. I can't keep studying the judgment in his eyes. "Oh, and I would think faster because I don't think a gorgeous girl like Hailey will stay single for a long time." He slams the door and walks inside.

I'm all alone again. No one to judge me, no one I can hurt, no one who fucking loves me. I don't want to be alone. I remove my seatbelt and take a couple of deep breaths. I prepare myself for the chest pain I know is going to come from seeing her and hearing her voice. From knowing she isn't mine anymore. I can't be selfish anymore, not with her. I have to stay strong.

I step inside the restaurant and take in the smell of food. Delicious food. My stomach grumbles in response to smelling all the different dishes. I make my way over to Ryder's table, where Owen is also sitting. He looks at me, gives me a small nod, and continues writing an email on his phone. I have really missed this busy man.

Kalia appears in front of us with a concerned expression on her face. I have known Kalia since middle school. We have been friends for some time, and I'm not surprised when she frowns at my appearance.

"You look like you got hit by a plane. I would say by a bus but I don't think a person hit by a bus looks this bad." Ryder chokes on his water, and Owen grins at his phone. I can't even blame her. I've never looked this bad.

"I'll get you a glass of water." I thank her, and she squeezes my arm.

A few seconds later, an all-too-familiar hand places a glass of water in front of me. My heart speeds up, and my hands start sweating. I can't bring myself to look up at her but when I do, a sharp pain shoots through my chest.

"What can I get you to eat?" She focuses on Ryder first while taking his order, then Owen, and then she finally turns to me.

More pain shoots through me. I run out of the restaurant as quickly as I can because I'm unable to take the pain that seeing her causes me. I wasn't ready to face her just yet.