Blossom Beach: Perfectly Wrong

Chapter 34

Jax

My eyes are fixated on the image in front of me. Hailey leads my mother back inside, holding onto her hand and making a smile appear on Mom's face. Too many different emotions wash through me until guilt settles deep within me. Instead of helping Mom, I pushed her even further away. Seeing and hearing everything she just said to Hailey, and the way Hailey told Mom about Jessie makes me almost sink to the ground. I'm an asshole. I should have known Mother needed me and that the drinking was just a cry for help. I rush inside and wait impatiently for Mom to come back from the bathroom. After what seems like an eternity, Hailey walks out and towards me with my mom following behind her. There is no doubt in my mind anymore. Hailey is the love of my life. There is never, ever going to be anyone like her. As ridiculous as it might be because I haven't even known her for a year, I can't change the way I feel. Everything I used to roll my eyes at, rushing into falling in love and being blinded by it, has now become my reality.

I smile at Hailey who steps out of the way so I can wrap my arms around my mother and hold her close.

"I'm so sorry, Mom. I should have known you needed me. I'm a dick, please forgive me." My voice cracks more with every word.

"Me, forgive you? Are you crazy? Can you forgive me?" Her voice is husky from all the crying, which makes me feel even guiltier.

"Of course." I let go of her, and she gives me a relieved expression.

"I think that I am going to take your siblings home now. I need to talk to them, too. And, don't worry, we will take a taxi." I nod in agreement, and she walks towards the children she has been neglecting for the past few months.

Hailey appears behind me and wraps her arms around my torso. For the first time in minutes, I exhale.

"Thank you," I mumble, and she lets go of me just to appear in front of me with the sweetest expression on her face. I still don't understand what I've done to deserve her. "You're mine." A more serious expression replaces her smile when she sees how serious I am.

"And you're mine," she replies. "I would do anything to make you happy." She pulls out a small box, and my mouth falls open ever so slightly. "Hunter just gave it to me. He helped me find it, and we ordered it to his place. It was a whole thing about his connections for twenty-four-hour delivery, but it doesn't matter. Just take this as a promise ring. I know it's usually the other way around, but I like it better this way," she says sweetly, and I grin.

"I do as well." I take the box from her and open it. "I love you." Hailey helps me put on the ring and then pulls my head down to kiss me. This height difference between us bothers her.

A few hours later, almost everyone has left. I'm glad the party is slowly ending. I'm too tired to stay in a good mood for much longer. After we're both done saying goodbye to our friends, we walk outside. She leads me to her car and opens the passenger door for me, a childish grin on her face. I smile at her, and she waits for me to be properly seated before she closes the door. My girl is stealing all of my moves.

My eyes barely leave Hailey on our ride to her place. Every now and then, she will catch me looking and a beautiful smile will spread across her lips. I love this smile, the shy one, which can make me want an eternity with her. The shy smile makes me think I'm ready for things I know neither her nor I am. I'm not even being completely honest with her. There is so much I am still keeping from her. Nothing about me is ever going to be good enough for her. I'm a jerk who is still keeping secrets even though I love her, and I should be honest with her. If I was a good guy, I should have told her: RUN! Run as far away from me as possible. I am only going to hurt you. As much as I will tell you, and myself, that I am not going to hurt you, I will. I am lying to you. I am the reason your father never spent any time with you. I'm wrong for you. Don't let me be selfish.

I was always going to be too selfish to actually tell her this. She is my world. Without her, I can't breathe and yet, I know I have to find a way. She deserves someone good, someone, who isn't me.

Seconds pass, and all I want to do is look at her forever. Freeze time, slow it down, all just so I don't have to face reality.

When she stops in front of her house, she turns towards me with a worried expression on her face. "What's wrong, Jax?" Her hand grips the steering wheel and her face is completely white. "You didn't like the party, did you?" She never ceases to fascinate me. Not only does she notice something is bothering me, but then she thinks it's because of something she did.

"Are you crazy? I loved the party." Hailey scans my face for a few seconds before she removes the key from the ignition.

"Okay." Her worried expression never fades but she drops it. She doesn't want to interrogate me, and I'm glad she doesn't. There is no way I can lie to her if she starts asking me more questions. I love her way too much to lie straight up to her face. But then again, am I not doing exactly that? I can't do this to her anymore...