Blossom Beach: Perfectly Wrong

Chapter 37

Hailey

When I wake up, the sun is already shining brightly through the windows into my room. I smile and turn around to find an empty side of the bed where Jax is supposed to be. My smile fades, and I sit up too fast for my brain to respond right away. Eventually, I find Jax sitting in the chair opposite the bed. He's watching me closely, and a dark expression carved into his facial features. An emotion of panic settles in my stomach.

This is it. He's bored now and will leave.

I swallow the tears which have already collected in my eyes. I thought we were going strong, but I was wrong.

"Hailey, we need to talk." His voice is emotionless. He seems like a completely different person. The man in front of me is not the Jax I know, the one I've fallen in with and who fell in love with me.

"You're breaking up with me," I say and swallow down the sob. I'm being very strong, despite the one tear I couldn't hold back. Jax is untouched. My words have no effect on him.

"Yes," he replies coldly. I nod, and he stands up. I pull the blanket closer to my almost bare chest. It amazes me how quickly I am uncomfortable with Jax seeing my nipples through my pajama top when only minutes ago I did not mind at all.

"Why?" The question seems ridiculous but I need to know. I need to hear him say he is bored. A flash of sadness crosses over his face before he goes back to the hard, cold exterior from before.

"I'm not good for you. You deserve so much more than me. I've been lying to you for a long time now. Since we met, actually, and it isn't fair. I was being selfish. I thought I could be with you and hide my past from you at the same time. That's not okay. I'm sorry, Hailey." Anger replaces any other emotion I have been feeling. More tears come as the anger settles but I don't care anymore. I let them fall and I draw strength from them.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" His eyes go wide in shock. I have never spoken to him like this before, and he obviously didn't expect me to react this way. "Who gives you the right to decide what's good for me? I sure as hell didn't give you that right so don't try to pin this on me. If you don't want me anymore then fine! But don't fucking tell me you aren't good for me because ever since I have met you, I have felt nothing but love. You completed me. You made me nothing but happy. And to tell me now you were being selfish for loving me is bullshit. As much as I hate to admit this, but with you, I was happier." I hate myself for saying it, but it's true. With Jax, everything used to be easy. "If you can't share your past with me that's okay. Your past is not what defines you. Your present is. Who you are at this moment is all that matters to me." A small, nasty laugh escapes him.

"Hailey, if you knew, you would never look at me the same way. I'm bad for you. That's why I'm leaving. I'm doing this for you." It's my turn to laugh. This is ridiculous.

"If you are not going to give me a chance, then leave. But don't pin this on me. You are leaving because you want to go. Leave. Before I kick you out myself." If I didn't know better, I would think a tear rolled down his cheek, but I do know better. He stops one last time before he turns around to look at me.

"You're right, I got tired of you. You're nothing special to me. Nothing. I only kept you around because you are good in bed." And with that, he walks out of my apartment. I put my pillow over my mouth and scream as loud as I could.

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A few hours later, I wake up again. I don't know when I fell asleep, but it must have been sometime after I stopped screaming into my pillow. My eyes adjust to the bright sunlight, and I notice a concerned Harvey sitting on the edge of my bed. I stare up at him, one eye still closed and the other only half-open. It takes me a few more seconds before I can fully open both my eyes and focus on him. My eyes hurt from the involuntary crying I've been doing, which is why I appreciate the wet towel Harvey hands me. I rub my eyes with it, hoping it would ease the ache. I let out a sigh before I take the coffee cup he is now offering.

"If you want to talk, I'm here for you. I know it's not the same as it would be with Jessie but I'm a good listener." He grins, and I take a sip of the coffee.

"Thanks, Harvey, but there is nothing to talk about. I knew this was going to happen eventually. I was fooling myself. Everyone was against us from the beginning and now they got what they wanted. They can say 'I told you so.'" Guilt flashes over Harvey's face, and I know he thinks I'm only targeting him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean you. Actually, maybe a little bit." He tilts his head back and lets out a short laugh. I smile in return. I don't feel like smiling but I think it's the right response. "I just don't understand. The day before yesterday he told me he's in love with me and this morning he said he got bored of me. It makes no sense," I try to explain, but it seems to make Harvey confused.

"What else did he say?" Harvey inquires, and I explain everything from the 'I'm not good enough for you' to the 'I'm bored of you' again. He listens patiently, and I can see him trying to figure out what to say to me.

"It doesn't make any sense, you're right. If he thinks he will lose you by telling you about his past, why doesn't he just do that instead? He would have a higher chance of keeping you in his life if he was honest." Harvey is right, but I also know Jax.

"He didn't want me to be the one to push him away. I think he's afraid of losing the people he cares about so he shuts them out before they get even closer to him," I reply, and as I say it out loud, I realize it makes sense.

"So... you're going to fight for him?" Yet again, Harvey puts on a concerned face.

"I am. I know he didn't just get tired of me. There is something else going on, and I need to find out what it is. Jax thinks if he told me about his past I would hate him. This much is clear to me. I just don't understand why he wouldn't trust that I love him enough to stay." I shake my head and pat my eyes with the towel again.

"Woah. Deep shit, Hales." Harvey stands up and gives me a kiss on the top of my head. "He's in love with you. Any fool can see it. I don't think you are going to have to fight hard." And with that, he leaves the room.

I'm going to get my man back, no matter what it takes. He didn't play me. He didn't tell me he loved me just so he could leave me a day later. There is something more, and I will find out what it is. I'm going to fight for Jax as he fought for me when our relationship first began. It's what Jessie would do, so I will too.