Existential (Bechloe)

62%

"Will you stop pacing?" Chloe asked from her bed, watching her girlfriend walk from one side of the room to the other, over and over again. "I can literally feel how anxious you are."

"I'm sorry, I...I just..." Beca stuttered, not stopping as she played with the rings on her hand.

Chloe sat her book down and swung her legs over to sit on the side of the bed.

"Come here," the redhead said holding out her hand. Beca stopped pacing and looked at the girl she was so madly in love with.

"Okay," Beca exhaled and walked to Chloe, taking her hand and allowing the woman to pull her between her legs.

"You are going to do amazing tomorrow and the days to come," Chloe whispered with a smile. She squeezed Beca's hand while holding the small of her back with the other."I'm with you always. Your mom is with you, your brother. You're not alone. You never will be."

At the sight of Beca crying, Chloe stood up and pulled the brunette into her embrace, holding her tightly.

"Don't cry, baby," she said softly before pulling away. "Why don't I run you a bath?"

Beca looked at Chloe as relief washed over her. Relief from what, she didn't know. It was a bath and that was all it was.

"Yes please," Beca said in a small voice with a nod.

Chloe had given her girlfriend a small kiss on her cheek before squeezing her hand and leaving.

Beca sat down on the bed. She knew that sometimes she took Chloe for granite. She didn't mean to, but sometimes she did and she hated that. No matter what, though, Chloe stood by Beca and she was always there for her and Beca will forever be grateful for that.

The truth was, Beca didn't deserve Chloe. She wasn't the best person. She could be mean and rude when she wanted to. She pushed people away when she shouldn't- especially those who tried the most to help her. Yet somehow, after everything Beca says or does, her friends and family are always there, ready to lift her up.

Even though she didn't deserve Chloe, she also didn't deserve her father being taken from her. She didn't deserve it; no one did. She was tired of losing the people she cared about most and she was tired of whining about it like the world revolved around her. It didn't and she knew that. What makes her loss more special than anyone else? People have lost more in worst ways and she knew that.

She didn't know how much time passed, but when Chloe walked in, she smiled at her.

"You ready for me?" Beca smiled and the redhead nodded.

"Well I wouldn't be here if I wasn't." Chloe winked at her before the two made their way into the bathroom.

Beca's heart fluttered. Chloe had ran her a bubble bath with candles placed in various places around the room, giving just enough light to see but leaving it a beautiful dim light. Chloe had brought in her record player and sat it on a small table, putting Frank Ocean's Channel Orange album on at a low volume.

"Chloe I..."

"Shh don't say anything," the redhead whispered as she slowly ran her hands down Beca's arms, being set on fire from her touch. "Just get in and relax."

Beca turned around and looked into Chloe's blue eyes, seeking comfort in them. "Would you get in with me?"

Chloe gave her girlfriend a small smile and asked, "Do you want me to?"

Beca smirked and said, "Well I wouldn't ask if I didn't."

The redhead rolled her eyes but started getting undressed, Beca watching as she did so.